Sunday, September 26, 2004

it's been a while. i've resolved my connection woes by dwnlding some dunnowat stuff from microsoft website and doing some shit to my firewalls.

went to komala's with jon and gad to get our much-needed dose of gulab jamun. (note to self: remember to try tt tasty looking thingy on the chaat menu.) it's nice to see jon and gad hanging out together, two best friends; nearly - yes, nearly - macam matair.

on the bus ride downtown, i was thinking bout how people are so different in the way they bring up their kids. like how some pple are so havoc and all but then just mellow when they have kids, while some pple just stay their oddball selves or become even weirder. which little box will i fall into?
and i'm always very amazed when i hear bout married couples who started off not speaking a common language, like uncle leonard and aunty sumali.

i was drained from not sleeping and being in distress (because my msn kept disconnecting and my connection kept slowing and i'm a pathetic online addict who cant go to bed without checking my email five times or various blogs including my own) so i had a nice shower when i got home; sat on the stool in the toilet and gave my feet a nice scrub with the pumice and massaged in between my toes. and then smothered my whole self with excessive amounts of moisturiser.

[oh ya,... sidetrack: my left knee gave way on tuesday during printjourn so after hobbling over to galileo for lunch, i retreated back to the benches near the cage and did not move frm there for the next 2 hrs till karol came and we went for script lecture. joshua was at home sick and durga was at home lazy haha, and jermaine and amy had gone home. so the only company i had for those 2 hrs was the occasional friend who would walk past and i lost count of how many times i repeated the i have wonky knees story. so the point i was gonna make was tt i had to buy new shoes with better support at ridiculous prices and i am now limited to asics and teva footwear.]

so anyway, i was deadbeat and at nearly 11pm friday night, instead of going online, i lay in bed in the dark, listening to Symphony. somewhere between my elevated state and lala-land, i concluded tt i don't have the gift of music; but wat i have is the wonderful ability to appreciate music in almost all it's forms. my eyes were wide open as i lay there imagining tt perhaps the happiest moment in my entire life would be finding the one person who could share this moment with me. he and me, we would lie there not saying a word while the music floated around us, wrapping us in its loveliness.

and then my hands extended in front of me, i did a little shimmy with them and then pretended they were graceful ballerinas, picking up the soft melodies. then i thought bout how lonely mummy looked (because uncle jeffrey was working shift tt night) when i said nite-nite to her just before i tucked myself in and i felt so sad for mummy. sonatas and sonatinas dang-dang-ge-dang-danging on the piano remind me of how there is much solace and much joy and so much emotion tt music can offer the way nothing else can. i love wat music does to me- i really, really do.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

met up with cj friends after forever and had many good laughs and much reminiscing. (note: saw nice airy top and stylo minah-ish pants at topshop. must wait for sale to buy). cynthia is doing law and eileen's doing arts at nus. chermaine's at la salle. heard tt paul is in the navy. meanwhile, me and andrew still stuck in fms. haha oh well.

on the bus back, andrew commented tt i'm stuck as a girl. As opposed to? i asked. A woman. hmm i guess i've never thought of myself tt way (or at least if i have, i forgot). i certainly feel a lot more mature as compared to when in cj or whenever previously, but i guess i still am a girl in many ways. i can't help it tt overalls are so damn comfy and have nice big pockets. i wonder if the child-like mentality i subconsciously adopt sometimes is a result of my having to grow up so quickly due to some family fuckups. but i'm not in the mood to bring up such things now.

we sat at the back of the top deck of the double-decker bus. This feels familiar. hah, yes it does andrew, it certainly does. you know, i'm actually quite proud tt we managed to keep us friends this long. yippee and yay to affable amelia and andrew! haha...


Bo Qiang & Wu Kia {:o)

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"So what kind of guy does amelia go for?"

oh and wouldn't you like to know... *wink*

it scares me tt he is the God-fearing type (is this how andrew felt when we used to go out?). wat are we both looking for? i'm always afraid tt pple will see in me more than there actually is and miss the things tt are actually there.

[a little sidetracking: i realise tt everyone is building contacts and doing freelance jobs. wat have i? oh fuck. ok, point made. moving on...]


You're the prince to my ballerina
You'll feed all the people's parking meters
You encourage the eating of ice cream
And you would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners
You ask 'how's your week?'
You give love to all
And give love to me
You're obsessed with hiding
The sticks and stones
And feel the unknown
You feel like home
You feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground
Oh, did you know you brought me home
Yeah, you were sweet and you were sound
Can you save me

You're the wars in my summer's breeze
You're the ivories in my ebony key
You would share your last jelly bean
And you would somersault in sand with me

You put my feet back on the ground
Oh, did you know you brought me home
Yeah, you were sweet and you were sound
You save me

You put my feet back on the ground
Oh, did you know you brought me home
Yeah you were sweet and you were sound
See I have tried
You still bring me around 'n around 'n around


(Somersault, zero 7)


i don't want wat's good for me and you have to understand tt.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

so i didn't get the nuss job. and i can't say i'm not upset. apparently, the manager didn't want me cos i looked too young. bloody idiot, so fussy for wat. all the other pple who auditioned only satisfied one of the 3 criterion he wanted - young, pretty, can sing. then i come along, and he says too young. tsk. (i'm not saying i'm an extremely hire-worthy specimen, but i believe tt overall i can quite make it).

anyway zehzeh, joshua and ericca came to watch me sing. and then of course there was melvin and helen (the one who sings with melvin now). they all said i sang well but i swear i spat out some flat notes. Janice (Melvin's agent) said i just need to familiarise myself with all the standard jazz songs and doll up a bit and she'll let me know if any hotels need crooners. but then i'd have to sing with someone i don't know cos melvin will be with nuss. you know, what i really hated was tt stupid disinterested look on the manager's face when i was singing.

i know i shouldn't have placed my hopes too high but i was already planning wat to do with my 1000$++ salary if i did get the job (200 for mummy and uncle jeffrey, 100 for zehzeh, 100 for the church box for the poor, 100 for mama, 50 for uncle boy, 20 for the old man who plays the er-hu outside tampines mrt, at least 1$ worth of tissue frm every blind tissue seller who approaches me, 2$ for every busker i see, 250 to treat various pple to lunch/tea/dinner/watever, 400 to go into my savings acct and bout 100 to keep in my piggy bank as taxi money). maybe i shouldn't become a hotel lounge singer; don't want to have to doll up 3 times a week and have silly drunk men ogle at me and i'm afraid i may sing myself crazy. nvm, i will just earn my dough tt way then i'll retire and use the money to set up my own band and then i can dress how i like and sing wat i like, when i like.

after i sang josh left for some meeting and i joined zehzeh and her friends to eat dessert. (i really appreciate zehzeh's support for me. i don't think many siblings would bother to be as proud as she is of me). anyway... i didn't want to go home feeling lousy so i asked josh if he was nearby and we ended up watching midnight movie at lido with some of his friends. The Terminal. really entertaining and catherine zeta-jones' name in the film was Amelia. don't especially like her, but it's always nice to have my name in a nice show. joshua's friend pamela is really pretty and stylo. and then there were 2 guys called cheng and zig. it's refreshing to meet new pple sometimes.

my nextdoor neighbour just told us tt there was a snatchtheft downstairs last night at bout 11. i know pple laugh at my ideas, but i'm convinced tt the best deterrent would be a tickle-me cookie monster or elmo. activate the toy and wave it round and laugh to yourself as you walk home late at night. i'm convinced tt's gonna freak any robber out of stealing your stuff.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

AH!!! wow... today is so surreal...(oh no, i hope i'm not beginning to sound like a regular boring blooger who simply reports her day's doings; i'd like to think i lead a life tt's at least a tad more exciting than most people... so anyways-)


10.10am ::
i rush into the newsroom to join the other slaves of Hype and Trib in proofreading our stories. i look longingly at the 2 comfy newsrm couches but am chased out of the room (for cacophony-emitting) before i get a chance to lounge.


12noon plus plus ::
have lunch at sim with jermaine, joshua, durga, geraldine, prasad, christine. joshua seems a little high and we break into a spontaneous montage of retro songs. then joshua suddenly asks me if i'm free this thursday and says he says he wants to ask me on a date. ah??... really ah? then i get laughed at by the table and i fail to understand wat's so funny. then he says he ya then he says no he doesn't want to date me. AHH?? everyone continues to laugh and i seem to be the only one oblivious to wat's going on. so anyway, his band (A Vacant Affair) is practising this thursday and i am very welcome to be there. where? his bedroom. er... tt's nice. Ma, can i go over to my friend joshua's bedroom in serangoon to make some music? i don't want to imagine her reaction.

oh ya, so the point is, i am extremely flattered though i think being in a room of emo-rockers i dunno will be a bit intimidating. worse still (or better still, depending on how i look at it), i hear frm jermaine tt joshua might want me to sing with them. gah. i don't know wat gah indicates but it't the only thing i can say now. GAH. well at least i know i won't do a yoko ono on them. oh but the thing is, i'm not free on thursday; spposed to go watch s'pore idol at caldecott to support malvin. i kind of want to check out joshua's band though.


8.45pm ::
i get a call from melvin. NUSS(nus society) wants to renew his contract for next yr but they don't want the girl he's singing with (whom chris tells me is lousy) so he needs a full-time singer-- do i want the job? melvin's offered me a job like this before but this time he's really serious and starting next yr will be quite feasible too. i said i'd only do part-time and though he needs a full-time singer, he also advsises me to stick to part-time. nuss management wants to hear me this friday and i'm shit scared. i'm still choosing songs now but i can already feel the fear thrashing bout in my stomach. if i get the job, it might make or break me. i'd finally get to be paid to make noise but i'm scared i can't handle the late nights. it's a pretty stupid thing to be scared of, considering the fact tt i don't usually sleep before 1am. mummy's not happy tt i'm committing myself to this; on the other hand, zehzeh is so excited for me, she says she'll bring all her firends down to watch me. anyhows, i promised melvin i'd be there on friday night so there's no turning back. it'll be good experience and i guess i've got nothing to lose.
a very very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my closest and bestest friends.
love you, karin! {:o)


hapsy hapsy hapsy berfsday.................. wheeeee! cheers to all the times we slacked at your hse, my hse, cooked couscous and watever nonsense we could think up. here's to more binge-fests, great sales and cheap pierre cardin bras. oh ya, and exciting bitching and 'jamming' sessions. we've been so bloody busy nowadays but we must go on tt holiday after graduation ok?




i sell you dvd cheap-cheap! hur hur...

Sunday, September 05, 2004

fat cheeks on both ends.
hormonal flushing and bloating is grossly uncomfortable.

is it just me, or do i really have stickers pasted on my face?: "Come Old People, feel free to talk to me" and "Calling all men with annoying voices and relationship problems! Come sit next to me on the train so i may have no choice but to eavesdrop on your stupid handphone conversation with your girlfriend".

i guess things like this do make my life a lot more interesting. maybe a lot of other pple are surrounded by recurring incidents like this, but they just don't notice. and even if they do, it sure seems like i'm the only one who seems to think tt such patterns are worth highlighting.

cantored well and then went down to citylink to eat by myself and people watch before heading down to watch Moods at the esplanade. good music and the vocalist sounds like natalie merchant. in between sets, i hung out with michelle, who was on backstage duty (bumped into dil too). when i wasn't transfixed by the music, i looked round and wondered wat everyone else in the audience was thinking bout and if anyone there had tt same thought running through their heads as me. another thought: it's amazing how many times you can cross paths with people and not even notice. how many times have you seen me?

i think mummy thinks i'm going out with julius or something, just cos i said i was getting a lift frm him (which did not happen eventually; but tt's a long story). watever lah.
i managed to dwnld(SSHH!) 2 epsiodes of Freaks and Geeks - yay! and clockwork orange too; haven't watched yet though.


playlist:

i think i love you (less than jake)

breathe easy (sugababes)

waiting in vain (bob marley)

black bird (the beatles)


hold me now (the polyphonic spree)

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

met up with old ij friends this afternn. haven't seen nurul and rima since graduation (ok, i saw rima at the anniversary thing, but tt doesnt really count).

visited nurul's blog and then from there to "trina's" blog to see if i recognised the girl tt andrew wants to screw. trina is pingzhi?! and then it occured to me tt was indeed pingzhi's christian name and tt i had simply forgotten. haha if she's the only trina frm cj in our yr then i'm amused cos all this while i kept trying to recall who 'trina' was. ok lah andrew, if we're talking bout the same girl here, then your taste good. heh. (of course, i'd like to think tt your taste has always been good but i won't kid myself, ya? heh.)

we hung out today, the four of us, and saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. haha fucking stupid... damn idiotic but amusing lah. then we sat at starbucks and did a bit of catching up and bitching.


someone's got matches but baby, it's not me
someone smells of fire but baby, it's not me
that's why you'll never play my song
you want to play unsafe games and i refused to play along
but the promises you've made and broke
the words that we never spoke
these things...
i'll light a torch and scorch and singe when you *** *** *** ******* m**g*



ugh. haha, i surprise myself sometimes. whoop dee doo...