:: Unbeautiful - lesley roy

listening to this on youtube now cos marcus said last mornite tt he wants to cover it. clever marcus.. always picking songs tt ive never heard of but really like (like tt really nice 311 song beautiful disaster). who is this lesley roy girl and how the fuck does she know i felt this way? so many clever pple in this world and i wish dylan was one of them. but tt's over now. it still makes my heart bleed a bit when i see his fb pics. but i have regret squat.

my life is pretty fulfilling right now. i'm essentially doing everything (well, almost) tt i want/have been wanting to do- teaching english (and making my OWN money), practising my french a little bit, taking the celta thing, went to zouk for mambo nite (YES! the curse is broken haha), taking the time to visit museums and places like tt, ironing and vacuuming twice a week, watching free stuff at the esplanade, doing lots of walking by myself, eating less expensive food, being in a band and jamming regularly, getting into choral singing again, doing lots of volunteer/community work. it'd be great if i could keep this up. just need more students so tt i can maintain this OTOT lifestyle.


note to self: send pics to FFTH, make ad to put up in AF.

another note to self: faster go bathe now and try to SLEEP EARLY!!!!!!

:: And So It Goes - billy joel

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows.


wah cannot tahan, some songs are just so fucking beautiful. and painfully real too. wah shiok sendiri man. one day i will write a song tt makes someone feel the way im feeling right now.
then i'll die happy.

i'm reading my chinese horoscope online and here's a snippet of the advice it gave for my love life:

Therefore, if you are waiting for a better love, you can try their convergence with the United States and the external and the other side not only because of their youth to see your beauty or talent clever and contacts with you, but to really feel each other's right for you only with your contacts. So will vanish before the peach, but true love will come. (from here)


HAHAHHAHAHHAHA wtf right. guess this means i have to move to the US and vanish before the peach (!!!!). tsk tsk, sounds pretty daunting.. wonder how i'll do THAT. doing a houdini before a fruit shouldn't be a problem, but i duno how i'll survive ellis island. hah oh well. looks like i'll have to do without love. ain't it.

seriously though, most of it is pretty accurate. and just need your birth date and time, a little help from Google Translate), and the patience to sync the original with the translation in order to make sense of it all.

thanks karin! l♥ve l♥ve

i was just informed an hr ago tt our vday gig has been cancelled. after i spent half the fucking day in front of my comp with the guitar, trying to figure out which songs to do and wat key to do them in. and after having mummy tell me i should do the more impt things "instead of sitting in front of the computer the whole day with the guitar". mind you, it was half a day ok- HALF. tsk.

i hate disappointments. there should be a limit to these things.

a peculiar, squeaky, scrubbing noise is bouncing off the blocks outside; sounds a bit as though someone is furiously trying to wear a pair of rubber gloves thin in the quickest time possible. after chiding myself for my lack of curiosity, i went to look out the living room window to try and find the source of the incessant squeaking tt's been the soundtrack to the past three hours of my night. nothing conclusive. how disappointing.. except tt i'm too busy wondering why the common corridor lights in the block diagonally opposite mine are a strange glowing-amber tonight. and the air smells hazy and dense, like an imminent asthma attack. what a curious combination of freakish elements. i'm feeling a bit weirded out but not particularly frightened. i suddenly recall tt the brilliant full moon hung low and bright and oversized in the sky when nurul and i were sitting along the river at clarke quay earlier tonight. dubious night.

2.13am. the noise just stopped. now i'm a bit scared.

:: Cancer - my chemical romance


hmm i'm not really into this song. but i'm listening to it anyway cos cheam suggested we cover it and i agreed.

i've had a eventful and productive week so far and i'm pretty pleased with myself {:oD monday morning, went to get my stitches checked and the dentist said they all healed really nicely and it doesn't even look like i had any surgery at all. not tt i had anything to do with tt but i'll take a bit of credit for it since i seldom get to take credit for anything in the physiological arena. wat am i saying? gibberish gibberish. ok, then interview at iseas which i tried my best to be excited about but seeing as to how i hate pr... plus, they said tt if i got the job, they wouldnt give me time off to do my celta. and then i met the currie guys for dinner at kuishin bo (tt i had organised), which was fucking fantastic. haha. jolynn's a lot funnier than i thought. im glad malcolm recommended kuishin bo.

then tuesday.. oh tuesday! i went for my celta interview and they said my application was so strong, they offered me a place on the spot! i was super psyched, since the guy told me tt they don't usually do this (they usually take bout 1-10 working days from the interview to make a decision). and they were really impressed with my lang-awareness task since i was the youngest candidate in tt batch. i'm trying not to be so smug though cos i know it's gonna be a pretty tough course. soo excited though (Wheeee...!!). then dinner at chomp chomp with durga and ravi. good times. got home late and sat in front of the comp for 2 hrs trying to find resources for tuition the next day. thinking up fun stuff to do for a one-hr eng lesson is actually pretty challenging.

went to st.john's to sing for some of the old folks with godma and her friends yesterday, then had my third lesson with eugène in the arvo. you know, i get so much kick out of it when i see him enjoying the activities i come up with. devised some game i called "monster heads" where we each designed and coloured a monster's head and then we took turns describing our monster for the other person to draw out. and then we compared the finished drawings. so he got to practice speaking and names of parts of the face/head; tt was pretty cool. and then after going through the rest of the body parts, we sang if you're happy and you know it. then went to malcolm's place for century egg porridge which was fucking sumptious. babysat his sisters for a while. had loads of good fun, really.

so tt's THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF PRODUCTIVE FUN (!!!!!), which is, to me, gooder than great. i got my teeth checked, brought myself closer to getting a job, discovered two great eating places (kuishin bo and malcolm's hse! haha) and had satisfying meals, got into the celta course i wanted so much, made a bunch of old folks happy, helped a little french boy improve his eng, made money, spent quality time with two sweet little girls. basically: making myself and other people happy, making money. tts wat i call a fantabulous and unbeatable demi-semaine.


just helped mummy chop carrots for her first shot at kueh pie tee. it was not bad for a first attempt. also emailed the cny pics of the kids to jane. paid my fees for celta. just need to email tt iseas to tell them i'm no longer available for the job cos frm march 23, i will be eating sleeping breathing celta. other things on today's agenda: study for driving (blurgh) and practising songs for the next jam.

:: Everybody Knows That You're Insane - queens of the stoneage

speaking of driving, couple of weeks back, when mummy was sick and uncle jeffrey had to take her to chiro and hospital in a cab, i was telling zac how shit i was feeling bout being useless. and he offered to chauffeur mummy to her appointments, which i thought was a really nice gesture on his part. didn't make me feel any less useless but made me realise how grateful i was to have such good friends. and i'm happy tt in my life ive met so many good men. parents' divorce and a couple of bad relationships are not gonna turn me off men.

ya, i think i might be in heat.