...
You make me satisfied
You only want to ride
But that's alright by me
We happen to be free
And if we fall from grace
At least we had a taste
Of something more than this
Unresolved black abyss
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm only looking for the sun to shine
:: Falling From Grace - gentle waves
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
kkbccb fucking ie. stop fucking hanging.
3 is a terrible number. i like looking for patterns remember? and i conclude tt 3 is the harbinger of unpleasantness in my life.
i misplaced my hp today (and as of now, it's still missing. i refuse to say "lost"). i also absentmindedly left the hsekeys hanging on the front gate when i left this morning. the parents came home to find it there (thankfully) and no doubt they were pissed. but i guess i should stop being so merepek. things always turn out not so bad for me. i could well be lying in a ditch somewhere on no man's land, with a gaping hole in my neck.
the past couple of days ive been getting flashbacks. mostly of dreams tt i've had before. and suddenly the places i see in the dreams seem more familiar than before. i often wonder if shit like tt happens to everyone else. ok, maybe not everyone, but most pple? some pple? anyone?
:: Someday You Will Be Loved - deathcab for cutie
wat a bastardly song. wat a beautiful, bastardly song. well.. can't be beautiful if it doesn't hurt enough, right? some days i wish i wasn't so perverse.
3 is a terrible number. i like looking for patterns remember? and i conclude tt 3 is the harbinger of unpleasantness in my life.
i misplaced my hp today (and as of now, it's still missing. i refuse to say "lost"). i also absentmindedly left the hsekeys hanging on the front gate when i left this morning. the parents came home to find it there (thankfully) and no doubt they were pissed. but i guess i should stop being so merepek. things always turn out not so bad for me. i could well be lying in a ditch somewhere on no man's land, with a gaping hole in my neck.
the past couple of days ive been getting flashbacks. mostly of dreams tt i've had before. and suddenly the places i see in the dreams seem more familiar than before. i often wonder if shit like tt happens to everyone else. ok, maybe not everyone, but most pple? some pple? anyone?
:: Someday You Will Be Loved - deathcab for cutie
wat a bastardly song. wat a beautiful, bastardly song. well.. can't be beautiful if it doesn't hurt enough, right? some days i wish i wasn't so perverse.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
i never imagined in my life tt i'd have mormon friends. i guess it's not like i had a real choice tonight. i kind of panicked when i saw the recognizable nametags and shirts with the ties and all. i was really thinking to myself omg wat have i just walked into. and then not long after i sat dwn, this woman next to me starts comparing our indecisiveness with the dishes to moses and "wat a logistical nightmare he must've faced with all his israelites *chuckle chuckle* ". honestly, i was more freaked out than amused, but thank goodness it all turned out to be a nice cordial dinner thing. they're actually quite sweet boys and surprisingly tolerable when they're not trying to convert anyone. do i sound like i'm totally making unfair assumptions? no comment.
anyways, the ramen soup was fucking awesome. and the afro boys were really easy to talk to. cute. haha. auntyj was saying how everything was "God's plan". despite the fact tt i thought she and her friend could have afforded to talk a little less bout God, i do agree with the whole idea of God's plan. but i also believe God plays by ear. so God, wat plans have you with regards to my dormant love life? ok then, how bout sex life? no? maybe? ya... ok, but like when, man? okok relax, i'm just asking only lah.. i mean... never mind.
fb tells me it's heather's bday today. i "kinda really" miss my ottawa times. i wish billy and i really had thought of jamming and busking together sooner. i want another soy maple latte moyen stp. argh second cup days. it was fun being tt francophonie asian chick no one could figure out. -hallo bonjour qu'est-ce que vous prenez? -are you from australia? -are you from quebec?
i miss the shopping at loeb and loblaws and trudging up tt slope with my excessive groceries. i miss cooking in the kitchen with heinz and sharing my meals with donis. sitting dwnstairs in the freezing cold trying to play heather's guitar and make up songs bout grapes (in english AND spanish! haha). oh those were good times.
(in my head):: The Scientist - natasha bedingfield
this is a damn power version. power terama!
this is a personal observation... but it seems like once you've one non-platonic romantic relationship, platonic romantic relationships seem to become obsolete. and i'm not just talking bout myself ok.
i feel like i've got an abcsess at the back of my sinuses. it feel terrible and i prob should sleep early. you know tt feeling when you're at the cusp of a throat infection? it feels just like tt but only its at the back of my nose.
i;ve been wondering lately what i'd feel if i found out i was infertile. i remember thinking some time ago, tt if i indeed turned out to be so, i'd probably be devastated. but i duno... seems like now i don't feel like i've got much hope anyway. tt once-frightening possibility of being stuck in this school forever and inadvertently growing old with its ageing doors and pillars is starting to seem quite real. i don't know if i wanna bother so much bout my future anymore.
anyways, the ramen soup was fucking awesome. and the afro boys were really easy to talk to. cute. haha. auntyj was saying how everything was "God's plan". despite the fact tt i thought she and her friend could have afforded to talk a little less bout God, i do agree with the whole idea of God's plan. but i also believe God plays by ear. so God, wat plans have you with regards to my dormant love life? ok then, how bout sex life? no? maybe? ya... ok, but like when, man? okok relax, i'm just asking only lah.. i mean... never mind.
fb tells me it's heather's bday today. i "kinda really" miss my ottawa times. i wish billy and i really had thought of jamming and busking together sooner. i want another soy maple latte moyen stp. argh second cup days. it was fun being tt francophonie asian chick no one could figure out. -hallo bonjour qu'est-ce que vous prenez? -are you from australia? -are you from quebec?
i miss the shopping at loeb and loblaws and trudging up tt slope with my excessive groceries. i miss cooking in the kitchen with heinz and sharing my meals with donis. sitting dwnstairs in the freezing cold trying to play heather's guitar and make up songs bout grapes (in english AND spanish! haha). oh those were good times.
(in my head):: The Scientist - natasha bedingfield
this is a damn power version. power terama!
this is a personal observation... but it seems like once you've one non-platonic romantic relationship, platonic romantic relationships seem to become obsolete. and i'm not just talking bout myself ok.
i feel like i've got an abcsess at the back of my sinuses. it feel terrible and i prob should sleep early. you know tt feeling when you're at the cusp of a throat infection? it feels just like tt but only its at the back of my nose.
i;ve been wondering lately what i'd feel if i found out i was infertile. i remember thinking some time ago, tt if i indeed turned out to be so, i'd probably be devastated. but i duno... seems like now i don't feel like i've got much hope anyway. tt once-frightening possibility of being stuck in this school forever and inadvertently growing old with its ageing doors and pillars is starting to seem quite real. i don't know if i wanna bother so much bout my future anymore.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
i have tt feeling again- tt i might be dying from some sickness i don't know i have. i wonder if i should get myself checked. i wonder if i really wanna know.
was feeling out of sorts yesterday evening. i got even more perturbed when i boarded the train at 4 plus and it was hell lot fuller than i'd expected on a weekday evening at 4 plus.
wait, just something tt popped into my mind: if i start feeling like this on a regular basis and for long periods of time, then it wouldn't be called "out of sorts" anymore would it... cos it'd be kind of normal.
anyways, so point is i've been better.
did i tell you i met up with andrew for dinner the other day? the topic of dylan came up (i swear it wasn't me who started it) and he was saying how poetic it was.. the whole meeting at a backpackers hostel and all tt. ("like it was never meant to be in the first place... like it was all transient.") how typical of andrew to say things like tt. i guess it's true... the fact tt it is quite poetic. guess i was too emotionally-involved to think of clever things like tt (unsurprising..). anyways, i replied tt when pple stay at a hostel, "they usually tell you when tehy're checking out. and they usually pay in advance.. not take your money with them. AND when you give concession rates for longstayers you don't expect them to bail". but still, i really love talking to andrew cos he always has all these "insights" haha. tt make me feel enlightened. and at the end of our conversations, i never feel like i've wasted my time. (yes, sadly, there are pple who do make me feel like tt.)
did i tell you bestie's back? well she is and she stayed over last night. wheee!!!!!!
:: It Must Be Love - madness
was feeling out of sorts yesterday evening. i got even more perturbed when i boarded the train at 4 plus and it was hell lot fuller than i'd expected on a weekday evening at 4 plus.
wait, just something tt popped into my mind: if i start feeling like this on a regular basis and for long periods of time, then it wouldn't be called "out of sorts" anymore would it... cos it'd be kind of normal.
anyways, so point is i've been better.
did i tell you i met up with andrew for dinner the other day? the topic of dylan came up (i swear it wasn't me who started it) and he was saying how poetic it was.. the whole meeting at a backpackers hostel and all tt. ("like it was never meant to be in the first place... like it was all transient.") how typical of andrew to say things like tt. i guess it's true... the fact tt it is quite poetic. guess i was too emotionally-involved to think of clever things like tt (unsurprising..). anyways, i replied tt when pple stay at a hostel, "they usually tell you when tehy're checking out. and they usually pay in advance.. not take your money with them. AND when you give concession rates for longstayers you don't expect them to bail". but still, i really love talking to andrew cos he always has all these "insights" haha. tt make me feel enlightened. and at the end of our conversations, i never feel like i've wasted my time. (yes, sadly, there are pple who do make me feel like tt.)
did i tell you bestie's back? well she is and she stayed over last night. wheee!!!!!!
:: It Must Be Love - madness