:: I Crush Everything - jonathan coulton
haha. i had just discovered some cool malaysian indie chick called yuna and sent shawn the link. he fell in love with her voice instantly. and so "in return, have a song about a self-loathing giant squid," he said.
why not, i think. it's fun talking to shawn. he thought my ELO song nickname was a basement jaxx song. he sent me tt and it was very nice too.
many new songs! what a fruitful mornite it has been.
:: These Streets - yuna
i initially had grand plans for tonight. some of which i did manage to cover- watch the noose, read today's and yesterday's papers, check my fb notifications, youtube new songs, chat a bit online to whoever, have a shower- and some which i didn't- play a long, fulfilling round of dropsum on fb, delete redundant emails from all my accounts, other random things which i cant recall now.
:: Lights Go Down - basement jaxx
the gazillion birthday wishes on fb came as a surprise to me. makes me feel really grateful to have this many pple who actauly give a hoot. then again, it could be tt they just happened to notice the "birthdays this week" on tt side column and happened to be free tt night. i think this way cos tt's usually the reason i wish other pple, on the rare occasions i do. or maybe i should give them all the benefit of the doubt since it's prob true tt not everyone's a lazy crazy bitch the way i am.
oh, you know... guess who's online tonight... and guess who's quite happy bout it? and guess who's thinking tt i'm the world's biggest fool? (im thinking only karin could answer these really accurately. hhaaha)
you know, the past 2 or 3 wks have squeezed me so much tt i havent even noticed the time whizzing by. i should stop fussing so much, shouldn't i? mm.
the song shawn is sending me is transferring at a painfully-slow rate... i think i'll check my sch email again. just cos i can.
Monday, July 26, 2010
:: All The Lovers - kylie minogue
i dreamt last night that some of those whom i blog-stalk took me aside and stabbed me. they rained blows on me and scratched at my skin with sharp things. i lay bleeding and helpless. then when i opened my eyes again and i had stopped bleeding, the wounds were half gone and i had mysteriously recovered. my assailants were surprisingly unsurprised tt i wasn't dead. in fact, they seemed to be filled with a newfound respect. later, i found myself lying beneath gimi (this is still in my weirdass dream, by the way) and in the midst our lovemaking he pulled away, looked at one of the remaining wounds on my leg and asked me if it still hurt. i don't recall wat i said but i mustve replied 'no' cos all i remember was his expressionless face before we continued.
wat a fucking weird nightmare- or watever it is. needless to say, i didn't sleep well. tonight won't be like tt. i musn't be cos it's my day already.
i dreamt last night that some of those whom i blog-stalk took me aside and stabbed me. they rained blows on me and scratched at my skin with sharp things. i lay bleeding and helpless. then when i opened my eyes again and i had stopped bleeding, the wounds were half gone and i had mysteriously recovered. my assailants were surprisingly unsurprised tt i wasn't dead. in fact, they seemed to be filled with a newfound respect. later, i found myself lying beneath gimi (this is still in my weirdass dream, by the way) and in the midst our lovemaking he pulled away, looked at one of the remaining wounds on my leg and asked me if it still hurt. i don't recall wat i said but i mustve replied 'no' cos all i remember was his expressionless face before we continued.
wat a fucking weird nightmare- or watever it is. needless to say, i didn't sleep well. tonight won't be like tt. i musn't be cos it's my day already.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
zeh zeh is leaving a week from now. i ahven't had time to think bout it or get sad bout her leaving. i'm afraid it'll only kick in when it's too late. it's gonna take some getting used to, no doubt, and i'm feeling a bit scared.
i didn't really want to be alone for dinner today. but it turned out tt way nevertheless. i wonder if i'll ever get used to this.
i'm so incredibly tired. i want tmr to be be better. and the day after tt to be even better, if at least a little. please.
i didn't really want to be alone for dinner today. but it turned out tt way nevertheless. i wonder if i'll ever get used to this.
i'm so incredibly tired. i want tmr to be be better. and the day after tt to be even better, if at least a little. please.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
:: Need You Now - lady antebellum
i heard this song before and liked it. just now pecks sent me the link randomly, so now i know who it's by. he was still in the office a half hr ago.. poorthing. feels like a night in currie. me mucking and moping in front of the screen and pecky also fighting sleep with a little help from youtube. i'm in one of those moods...think if i was any more tired than i am now, i'd be superfucking emo.
you know, my kids love justin bieber. in fact, they can't even spell "heard" correctly but they can get his full name right. i really wish they would also generalise the "starts with a capital letter" rule to all other proper nouns and starts of sentences, and not just limit it to Justin Drew Bieber. tt would help them in their english hmwk. REALLY.
talking to edward now. he's nice to talk to. monkey crap.
oh, random life.
i heard this song before and liked it. just now pecks sent me the link randomly, so now i know who it's by. he was still in the office a half hr ago.. poorthing. feels like a night in currie. me mucking and moping in front of the screen and pecky also fighting sleep with a little help from youtube. i'm in one of those moods...think if i was any more tired than i am now, i'd be superfucking emo.
you know, my kids love justin bieber. in fact, they can't even spell "heard" correctly but they can get his full name right. i really wish they would also generalise the "starts with a capital letter" rule to all other proper nouns and starts of sentences, and not just limit it to Justin Drew Bieber. tt would help them in their english hmwk. REALLY.
talking to edward now. he's nice to talk to. monkey crap.
oh, random life.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
:: Separate Ways - journey
today in the staffrm some pple were talking bout tt poor woman who jumped two nights ago after 8 mths of mourning her husband and someone said oh why she dont just find another husband, why must go and kill herself. nowadays so many people also divorce and marry again wat.
i felt tt was a terrible comparison <---- UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!!!!
i pointed out tt at least most couples who divorce have some- even if sometimes limited - choice. this poor woman did not CHOOSE to have her husband die. what more die in such a horrible manner.
thankfully someone else in the room agreed with me. but then this person went on to say aiyah anyway dunno why so many pple divorce. if you want to get divorced then don't marry lah!
TSK. i guess sometimes pple just don't think very much before they speak. i try my best to give them the benefit of the doubt but really, it's so tiring explaining to pple all the time. even after i do, pple still tell me ya but i still think pple shouldnt get married if theyre gonna fight.
errrrrr................
on the brighter side...
:: Ca Fait Rire Les Oiseaux - La Compagnie Créole
today in the staffrm some pple were talking bout tt poor woman who jumped two nights ago after 8 mths of mourning her husband and someone said oh why she dont just find another husband, why must go and kill herself. nowadays so many people also divorce and marry again wat.
i felt tt was a terrible comparison <---- UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!!!!
i pointed out tt at least most couples who divorce have some- even if sometimes limited - choice. this poor woman did not CHOOSE to have her husband die. what more die in such a horrible manner.
thankfully someone else in the room agreed with me. but then this person went on to say aiyah anyway dunno why so many pple divorce. if you want to get divorced then don't marry lah!
TSK. i guess sometimes pple just don't think very much before they speak. i try my best to give them the benefit of the doubt but really, it's so tiring explaining to pple all the time. even after i do, pple still tell me ya but i still think pple shouldnt get married if theyre gonna fight.
errrrrr................
on the brighter side...
:: Ca Fait Rire Les Oiseaux - La Compagnie Créole
Sunday, June 27, 2010
jam jam jam jam jam jam - yeah!!!
we're a bit out of form but we managed anyway and it was fun and we tried some new stuff at a new studio so yay!
next week: new term --> new, exciting happenings? dunno. guess so. hope so.
:: Drive - the cars
the other day at a sch function, the very opinionated counsellor was telling everyone at the table how highly she thought of me and how i should go and get a bf cos later got no time and it's such a waste ah and why don't i introduce a nice boy to you blablablah. "er... it's ok lah. no need.. i'll just consider myself married to the sch. in fact maybe i should become a nun.. then can leave late and come in early cos i'll have nowhere to go anyway. mm ya. ha. ha. ha." said i to which she replied insistently tt it was a waste and this kind of thing cannot joke- no time no time.
but i guess though most pple i meet like me for who they know me as, i'm not the easiest person to love, at least not for the longterm. so i'll just love my kids cos i know at least tt my love is going to make a difference to someone. it's not wasteful if no one else needs my love anyway, right? unless you know of a place where i can buy the life i envisioned for myself off the shelf without having to sell my soul. sometimes it bothers me to think about my own future; teaching gives me the chance to think bout someone else's instead.
:: The Hype - the hampdens
we're a bit out of form but we managed anyway and it was fun and we tried some new stuff at a new studio so yay!
next week: new term --> new, exciting happenings? dunno. guess so. hope so.
:: Drive - the cars
the other day at a sch function, the very opinionated counsellor was telling everyone at the table how highly she thought of me and how i should go and get a bf cos later got no time and it's such a waste ah and why don't i introduce a nice boy to you blablablah. "er... it's ok lah. no need.. i'll just consider myself married to the sch. in fact maybe i should become a nun.. then can leave late and come in early cos i'll have nowhere to go anyway. mm ya. ha. ha. ha." said i to which she replied insistently tt it was a waste and this kind of thing cannot joke- no time no time.
but i guess though most pple i meet like me for who they know me as, i'm not the easiest person to love, at least not for the longterm. so i'll just love my kids cos i know at least tt my love is going to make a difference to someone. it's not wasteful if no one else needs my love anyway, right? unless you know of a place where i can buy the life i envisioned for myself off the shelf without having to sell my soul. sometimes it bothers me to think about my own future; teaching gives me the chance to think bout someone else's instead.
:: The Hype - the hampdens
Friday, June 25, 2010
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I live
I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep
I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave
I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I laugh
I feel
I make believe it's real
I fall
I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope
I stand,
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?
:: Am I Not Pretty Enough - kasey chambers
feeling insecure again. why does this have to happen every month?! fuck. menstrual moods never did do me no favours {:o(
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I live
I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep
I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave
I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I laugh
I feel
I make believe it's real
I fall
I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope
I stand,
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?
:: Am I Not Pretty Enough - kasey chambers
feeling insecure again. why does this have to happen every month?! fuck. menstrual moods never did do me no favours {:o(
Monday, June 21, 2010
wah, just saw some posb-sponsored ad bout family. can really relate to tt...
i wonder wat mama is doing in london now. aunty g told us she had convinced her to go and stay with london aunty for a while, since her lease for the condo was ending soon anyway. aunty g smsed everyone to tell them and said something like "i think it would be a nice to give her a call to wish her all the best before she leaves". i didn't do tt of course. and i don't hink anyone in my hse did. sometimes i feel sorry for her, you know. but then she always has to do something to make me regret feeling sorry. and i don't like regretting.
speaking of ancestors and annoying relatives, i've just got back frm my sort of motherland early this morning. i wouldn't say i enjoyred the trip very much, but at the same time i didn't dislike it. the best part was the reaching there and the leaving. i think i just like to be at a different place sometimes. mm... wat else.. the dinner on the last night was quite nice. got to meet daddy's beijing cousins and one wife and one daughter. they were the nicest cina-nese pple we met on the WHOLE trip. on the way back frm dinner, zehzeh kept saying wat cute old pple they were and i said: tt's cos we havent seen them spit out of their car window yet; we prob won't think they're as cute after tt. and we all had a nice chuckle about it.
i wonder wat mama is doing in london now. aunty g told us she had convinced her to go and stay with london aunty for a while, since her lease for the condo was ending soon anyway. aunty g smsed everyone to tell them and said something like "i think it would be a nice to give her a call to wish her all the best before she leaves". i didn't do tt of course. and i don't hink anyone in my hse did. sometimes i feel sorry for her, you know. but then she always has to do something to make me regret feeling sorry. and i don't like regretting.
speaking of ancestors and annoying relatives, i've just got back frm my sort of motherland early this morning. i wouldn't say i enjoyred the trip very much, but at the same time i didn't dislike it. the best part was the reaching there and the leaving. i think i just like to be at a different place sometimes. mm... wat else.. the dinner on the last night was quite nice. got to meet daddy's beijing cousins and one wife and one daughter. they were the nicest cina-nese pple we met on the WHOLE trip. on the way back frm dinner, zehzeh kept saying wat cute old pple they were and i said: tt's cos we havent seen them spit out of their car window yet; we prob won't think they're as cute after tt. and we all had a nice chuckle about it.
