Sunday, June 27, 2010
jam jam jam jam jam jam - yeah!!!
we're a bit out of form but we managed anyway and it was fun and we tried some new stuff at a new studio so yay!
next week: new term --> new, exciting happenings? dunno. guess so. hope so.
:: Drive - the cars
the other day at a sch function, the very opinionated counsellor was telling everyone at the table how highly she thought of me and how i should go and get a bf cos later got no time and it's such a waste ah and why don't i introduce a nice boy to you blablablah. "er... it's ok lah. no need.. i'll just consider myself married to the sch. in fact maybe i should become a nun.. then can leave late and come in early cos i'll have nowhere to go anyway. mm ya. ha. ha. ha." said i to which she replied insistently tt it was a waste and this kind of thing cannot joke- no time no time.
but i guess though most pple i meet like me for who they know me as, i'm not the easiest person to love, at least not for the longterm. so i'll just love my kids cos i know at least tt my love is going to make a difference to someone. it's not wasteful if no one else needs my love anyway, right? unless you know of a place where i can buy the life i envisioned for myself off the shelf without having to sell my soul. sometimes it bothers me to think about my own future; teaching gives me the chance to think bout someone else's instead.
:: The Hype - the hampdens
we're a bit out of form but we managed anyway and it was fun and we tried some new stuff at a new studio so yay!
next week: new term --> new, exciting happenings? dunno. guess so. hope so.
:: Drive - the cars
the other day at a sch function, the very opinionated counsellor was telling everyone at the table how highly she thought of me and how i should go and get a bf cos later got no time and it's such a waste ah and why don't i introduce a nice boy to you blablablah. "er... it's ok lah. no need.. i'll just consider myself married to the sch. in fact maybe i should become a nun.. then can leave late and come in early cos i'll have nowhere to go anyway. mm ya. ha. ha. ha." said i to which she replied insistently tt it was a waste and this kind of thing cannot joke- no time no time.
but i guess though most pple i meet like me for who they know me as, i'm not the easiest person to love, at least not for the longterm. so i'll just love my kids cos i know at least tt my love is going to make a difference to someone. it's not wasteful if no one else needs my love anyway, right? unless you know of a place where i can buy the life i envisioned for myself off the shelf without having to sell my soul. sometimes it bothers me to think about my own future; teaching gives me the chance to think bout someone else's instead.
:: The Hype - the hampdens
Friday, June 25, 2010
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I live
I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep
I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave
I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I laugh
I feel
I make believe it's real
I fall
I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope
I stand,
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?
:: Am I Not Pretty Enough - kasey chambers
feeling insecure again. why does this have to happen every month?! fuck. menstrual moods never did do me no favours {:o(
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I live
I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep
I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave
I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?
I laugh
I feel
I make believe it's real
I fall
I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope
I stand,
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?
:: Am I Not Pretty Enough - kasey chambers
feeling insecure again. why does this have to happen every month?! fuck. menstrual moods never did do me no favours {:o(
Monday, June 21, 2010
wah, just saw some posb-sponsored ad bout family. can really relate to tt...
i wonder wat mama is doing in london now. aunty g told us she had convinced her to go and stay with london aunty for a while, since her lease for the condo was ending soon anyway. aunty g smsed everyone to tell them and said something like "i think it would be a nice to give her a call to wish her all the best before she leaves". i didn't do tt of course. and i don't hink anyone in my hse did. sometimes i feel sorry for her, you know. but then she always has to do something to make me regret feeling sorry. and i don't like regretting.
speaking of ancestors and annoying relatives, i've just got back frm my sort of motherland early this morning. i wouldn't say i enjoyred the trip very much, but at the same time i didn't dislike it. the best part was the reaching there and the leaving. i think i just like to be at a different place sometimes. mm... wat else.. the dinner on the last night was quite nice. got to meet daddy's beijing cousins and one wife and one daughter. they were the nicest cina-nese pple we met on the WHOLE trip. on the way back frm dinner, zehzeh kept saying wat cute old pple they were and i said: tt's cos we havent seen them spit out of their car window yet; we prob won't think they're as cute after tt. and we all had a nice chuckle about it.
i wonder wat mama is doing in london now. aunty g told us she had convinced her to go and stay with london aunty for a while, since her lease for the condo was ending soon anyway. aunty g smsed everyone to tell them and said something like "i think it would be a nice to give her a call to wish her all the best before she leaves". i didn't do tt of course. and i don't hink anyone in my hse did. sometimes i feel sorry for her, you know. but then she always has to do something to make me regret feeling sorry. and i don't like regretting.
speaking of ancestors and annoying relatives, i've just got back frm my sort of motherland early this morning. i wouldn't say i enjoyred the trip very much, but at the same time i didn't dislike it. the best part was the reaching there and the leaving. i think i just like to be at a different place sometimes. mm... wat else.. the dinner on the last night was quite nice. got to meet daddy's beijing cousins and one wife and one daughter. they were the nicest cina-nese pple we met on the WHOLE trip. on the way back frm dinner, zehzeh kept saying wat cute old pple they were and i said: tt's cos we havent seen them spit out of their car window yet; we prob won't think they're as cute after tt. and we all had a nice chuckle about it.
