Friday, March 25, 2005

happy is what i wanna be when i grow up.


i guess being bohemian and being pragmatic are exclusive to each other when it comes to most things but oh well. i can never find something i'm so passionate bout and stick to it for a long time and tt worries me sometimes. but i just want to be happy, you know? tu comprends? i want to be wherever the wind takes me (not literally please) cos i'm curious bout my fate. sometimes i just want to lie back and close my eyes and see where the world takes me. and i'll hope and maybe pray tt good things will come my way. it sounds like i'm being indiscriminately complacent and a complete bum but i don't want to warp my life. i wish i could live twice or thrice and live my life different each time. but i'll settle for this, living where and when i see fit.

where are we going? where are we going? i dunno. and i dunno wat to say. let's wait and see. i'm so tempted to rush into things just for the adrenalin but i'm trying not to repeat mistakes. i'm glad we talked today cos it made me feel all of a sudden tt if anything happens or doesn't happen, we'd still be friends.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

in the avid studio now; my baby's at home studying for massina (or playing xbox? hah).

:: So Beautiful - pete murray

i've been so happy lately. it's one of those times where i look back and wonder how it feels like to be sad and/or depressed cos it's almost unfathomable now. and being the twisted and inately sad person i am, i'm beginning to feel quite wistful when i think of the random times in my life tt i lived and breathed melancholy. i don't want to be sad when he's around cos i don't want him to see me sad and become sad. but baby, i think you should know this bout me - i'm a pretty sad person (and a pretty and sad person, hur hur...).

so we're handing our documentary in one day late and i don't know what i'm still doing here but i'm taking the time to feed myself sad music so i can feign melancholy and float round listlessly the way i'm so used to doing sometimes. back to tt now.

:: Criminal - fiona apple

Monday, March 21, 2005

i love you i love you i love you, saw lidong. i don't want this feeling to ever ever go away. i thanked God for you today.
:: Qing Tian - jay chou

still up this mornite, talking to my favourite distraction. he loves me so much it's making me melt. i love you too, baby. you give me (socialist) fever {:o)


karin, i love you too. thanks for all the great laughs this mornite (and all the other times you made me spit my drink out).

SprinkleS (12:47 AM) :
__O__
/ || \ --> MAN
\ || /
| |
_| |_


so it's officially the end of sch already; save for stupid docpro due this wed, my advertising make-up test, and finally medlaw exam. i just want it over and done with. everyone's getting all reflective and shit now tt most are out of sch for good and i really don't know what to think except tt i don't have any regrets cos since some time ago, i've realised tt everything happens for a reason. and isn't fate oh so naughty and oh so curious. this is one of those times i cannot help but be cliche, so here goes:
i wanna thank all the pple who contributed to my good and bad, dman fucking good and damn fucking bad experiences in masscomm and in np. i remember feeling the overwhelming urge to make new friends in year 3 and i'm so fucking glad i did cos i met some of the nicest and coolest pple in mcm during my last sem: tim wee, indra, ann kueiling, vijay, wayne, alicia, mel-ann tan, lidong(!!!)... if you're not on this list, i either forgot you (erm, sorry) or you're one of the not-so-nice ones OR you haven't returned me the 50 bucks you owe me. hur hur..

me and durga followed karol home and we experienced wat it'd be like if the 3 of us were to share tiny flat in perth. haha. took so long to get ready tt we only reached rouge at 9. i think we got a lot of tongues wagging and a lot mouths huh?-ing over there. oh well i think i surprised myself too. we look good together, don't we? THANK YOU SYMC. (HAHA)


:: Echo - incubus

Saturday, March 19, 2005





Your Seduction Style: The Natural





You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.



hah. erm ok. hmm..

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

:: Sweet Jane - cowboy junkies

last mornite, went to sleep sick and this morning and woke up to puke bile and phlegm into the sink. wat a bother. blurgh. wanted to develop my 4th roll today... ah. i hate being sick. i hope i get a lot better by thursday afternoon; wanna go for the hype party on tt day (but won't be able to drink cos baileys doesn't quite go with anti-Bs. boo..) and to alicia's the next. somehow, today reminds me of tt time when i was sick and andrew pontanged class and came dwn and we walked round tampines mall; i was coughing quite badly and and he tried to make me go to the doctor.

i'm feeling drowsy now and i'm craving for japanese and french food.

indie-pendent weekend is coming again and i asked the date along cos i felt quite sorry for him when he lamented how all his OFS friends went back to their countries and he hasn't any friends here cept for his army kakis.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

i'm suddenly craving for foie gras. bits and pieces of foie gras in creamy pasta. or panfried foie gras on prune brioche. or foie gras out of the can, spread thickly on bread. expensive food, pls float my way.

what's worse: being lovesick or being sick of love?

i know myself to be fairly high maintenance. i'm closet everything - really. i need to be entertained day in and out and in and out. i'm impulsive and work by whim (mine only, usually). sometimes i think too much. breathe, baby, breathe.

woke up this morning with an infection going at my throat the way i would go at foie gras if i had any of it within my reach/budget now.

:: My Sharona - the knack


i suspect God of getting back at me for not going to church yesterday. sometimes he likes to play these games, you see. but who am i to talk - i play lots of these little games too. ok, time to go to church and then meet daddy. erm, bye then.

Thursday, March 10, 2005




hallo i haven't visited you in a long time, but i've been to myself a few times i think and i've been feeling a little happier and more tired than usual (the two things not being related).

:: Motorcycle Drive By - third eye blind

advertising pitch is finally over and despite the high possibility of fucking up, we didn't fuck up. didn't get the pitch though, and i cannot express in words how relieved i am cos now i can get at least a bit more sleep. pam wants to film more footage for docpro but i really just want it all to be over. macam mana macam mana.

for awhile already, i've been slowly filling with a strong nostalgia as i go bout in sch. coming to masscomm is the best thing i can remember tt's happened to me (namely because i have a supremely cock memory). ok, maybe i'm not in the mood to go on bout how i'll miss it all. but i still feel sad and unsure bout wat's gonna happen to me after this. boo. managed to find some degrees in my scope of interest tt are in the 13000A$ range, so tt's a good thing.

i'm glad he's not making it easy for me cos maybe, just maybe, i might learn to appreciate things more if they didn't come so easy.

you know i was sleeping in docpro lecture and then woke up to find myself grinning like a fool. hah. then lidong called. good timing. :P

Friday, March 04, 2005

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Thursday, March 03, 2005

uncleparty is right - i am a very emotionally-driven person. i've never really realised tt (or maybe i just never considered phrasing it this way). i'm more concerned with my emotions than anything else. maybe because i'm abnormally and uncontrollably aware (sometimes too aware) of my feelings. and in this way, i think i may be a bit selfish, navigating life with my emotional whims as my invisible road map. and unfortunately, i'm a sentimental sucker and i need my fixes; if they won't come to me, i'll have to make them. and i just need a new map. you understand? yes, a new map. you need to be more decisive, amelia. you can only turn one way at a time.

:: A Lack of Colour - deathcab for cutie

i almost forgot how lovely this song is.