just.. entrancing.

:: Flock of Hearts - the phoenix foundation (ost. Boy)

a bit like polyphonic spree. good listening. and great movie.

i wonder how long it will be before i get really bored from being home alone. i know i'd appreciate some company though.

oh where did we go, my lovely?

There is no love;
No future in nostalgia.

There is no love;
No blessing in brokenness.

There is no love;
Only feelings to be guilty of.

There is no love;
But I'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong.


:: There is no Love - charlie lim

i suddenly feel like eating sara lee pound cake... with extra butter on the top. rgh.

so many things going on in my head. i haven't given myself enough time to sit down and write it all out. where will i find this time?

i drove to shell at the old shell club twice. i remembered him because he tried to flirt with me. he remembered me because he tried to flirt with me. i knew he was myanmarese because i'm fairly good at guessing at pple's ethnicity/nationality based on looks/behaviour. thinking bout him makes me shy and sheepish. am i just feeling deprived? when are we driving to shell again?

:: I Don't Have Time to be in Love - priscilla ahn

Je crois que c’est les injustes qui dorment le mieux, parce qu’ils s’en foutent, alors que les justes ne peuvent pas fermer l’œil et se font du mauvais sang. Autrement ils seraient pas justes.

ça, c'est trop vrai.
guess i did wat i could; it's really difficult to help someone who refuses to accept it for watever reason.

HAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA!!!! wtf! {:oD

who needs to speak when the music does it good enough?

don't feel so good tonight. tmr has to be better.

:: Gimme the Night - george benson

:: Nothing Else - gabriel lynch


:( i think i need help.

there are only single seat tix left for the jacky cheung concert. i guess it's not much of an issue since no one i know wants to go anyway... i've seemed to have surpassed my number of lonely days this yr- days where i don't feel like being alone but end up being alone anyway because no one else is available. (:o(

the vocalist keeps shooting the camera these "intense" looks that bring to mind mr brown's the many faces of tay ping hui... i find the faux intensity quite disturbingly cheesy. the dual-directional gyrating in the video too.

the vid has some spooning though. i think spooning is great. i love spooning. i do, really.

just finished watching hard candy. not the best show, really.. bordered on boring. and some parts wee just too difficult to sit through. but oh boy is patrick wilson hot with those indie specs. handsome, tt fella.

something tells me i'm gonna regret staying up this late unnecessarily. better go now.

oh and zz is getting married! woohooo! yay!! ... and as for me? i'm like... so watever.

i suddenly don't remember what i logged in to write. suddenly i had another flashback. (i'm really not trying to be dramatic lah.. i get flashbacks all the time but this one just happened to come to me as i was logging in.) i'm in ottawa. donis and i are decked out in our winter warmest and we're trudging down the slippery street, our freezing hands in our pockets. we've just left the indie dvd store cum art gallery (yes, cum art gallery... it's THAT indie-cool). we stop at a phone booth and we start taking pictures in it and also some of us posing with huge chunks of snow nearby. i can't remember if we stopped because of the snowchunks or the phone booth. i think donis wanted a pic of himself in the phone booth. goodness knows why... maybe in spain they don't have phone booths..?? haha.

ok i think i wanted to lament that my grand plans to have a solo picnic this morning (i.e. yesterday morning) were foiled by my procrastination. because i had slept so late, by the time i got up it was almost noon and waaay too hot to sit in the outdoors to enjoy a meal and my chicken soup for the singapore soul (ya, i never knew it existed too until i chanced upon it at the suntec bookfair two weeks ago). so i ended up at far east plaza, and after some aimless walking, settled on having rawon at resto surabaya. i was delighted to have anything that had a hint of buahkeluak taste. but then they had run out of soda gembira so it was quie difficult to be truly happy with my lunch. i could already the soda in my mouth as i ordered; so my heart really plummeted to my feet when they said no more. after lunch, walked all the way dwn to peranakan museum to check out the kebaya exhibition. one of the best things bout being a gahmen slave is tt i get free entry into NHB museums. damn good. yah, shiok right? HELL YEA BETCH!. sorry i over react sometimes. but it's really so nice to be able to stroll in and out, not having to worry tt i have to pay X$ even though i only have less than 2 hours to spare. also stopped by substation and wondered into this interesting exhibition by a bunch of nus students on sustainability. it was pretty cool (and i'm not just saying tt cos the guy i spoke to let me take home a paper brick). it's tempting to dismiss the whole hype bout sustainability as a fad, but i think tt making our world last for us is gg to be a real challenge if we don't wake up our idea. wat goes around comes arounf after all. and i honestly think some of these 'sustainable' ideas, if implemented (and followed) well, could really make everyday life more earth-friendly. the key is effort from everyone. this is always the hardest part isn't it? in general, i can imagine how we could achieve so much more in life if everyone just put in their due effort (in a unified direction of course). i digress.. so anyway, the green exhibition is in the substation's guinness theatre. with no coherent signs to indicate location, and it would take only a real kaypoh like me to find it, really. there's also a painting exhibition tt was pretty good. have a look at both on this page i found: HERE

-something really curious just happened... i was busy clicking away at all the foodblog links on the side column of tt moose page, while at the same time running through some pics i took today. there's this one i took as i was reaching the substation and wondered into a mini herb garden tt seemed to have popped out of nowhere. the closest door to it simply read "fiftythree". totally unhelpful in telling me wat kind of place it was.. but frm the variety of herbs and a quick kaypoh glimpse through the glass, i figured it might be a cooking sch of some sort. i took the liberty of taking many pseudo-artsy shots of some big red ants hanging out on the plants. so back, to the very recent past: i was about to google "fiftythree" so tt i could have something to label my antsy picture with, but i decided to be greedy and first look at some french food reviews via a link on the moose page, and i ended up HERE. hahaha wat a coincidence right, huh?








since i'm staying at daddy's hse again tonight, i'm thinking maybe i'll go dwn to botanic gardens for my picnic tomorrow morning (i.e. this morning)... if i can drag myself out of bed. it's getting really gusty and cloudy outside so if it pours tonight, i don't think lounging on the grass tmr will be such a good idea. well, we'll see. maybe i'm just making excuses so i don't have to wake up early.




on nice stomry days, i miss having someone to snuggle up in bed with.

Blackjack - Welcome to the World

looks familiar? sounds familiar? ya i didn' know until just (thanks to wikipedia) tt michael bolton used to be a rock star. haha. but it doesn't matter cos he's always been a star in MY heart. haha. tsk, amelia.. you're such a cheeseball.

anyhoo, reason why i started googling him was tt i have the song said i loved you but i lied stuck in my head. damn fantastic lah, tt song. i remember when we were younger, zehzeh and i thought he was being a total bastard by cheating our feelings. then one day, we actually bothered to pay attention to the rest of the words and we had an epiphany. haha.

You're so quiet
But it doesn't faze me
You're on time
You move so fast
Makes me feel lazy

And let's join forces
We've got our guns and horses
I know you've been burnt
But every fire is a lesson learnt

I left my house
Left my clothes
Door wide open
Heaven knows
You're so worth it, you are

But I wish I could feel it all for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
Maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would, I would, I would, I would, I would

Lets tie words
'Cause they amount to nothing
Play it down
Pretend you can't take what you've found
But you found me
On a screen you sit at permanently

I left my house
Left my clothes
Door wide open
Heaven knows
You're so worth it, you are

But I wish I could feel it all for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
Maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would, I would, I would, I would

It's time to come clean and make sense of everything
It's time that we found out who we are
'Cause when I'm standing here in the dark
I see your face in every star

But I wish I could feel it all for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
Maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would, I would, I would, I would, I would

I'd do it all for you
I'd do it all for you
I'd do it all for you
I'd do it all for you
I'd do it all for you


:: Guns and Horses - ellie goulding

PM Lee sets up committee to review ministerial pay

why must they set up a committee to do tt when any fool can tell you that 1.5million/annum is WAAAY too much. don't try to buy time lah; start by cutting the current pay by half, THEN have a committee review from there.

i've just had a random flashback:

i am six years old. i'm sitting on the floor of the living room/recreation room/bedroom in the bedok court apartment of a kindergarten classmate, jeremy. it's his birthday party and there are a few other kids sitting with me. we're all facing a huge tv screen, playing a computer/tv spelling game. we are asked to spell pumpkin. i spell p u m k i n. and then a boy sitting near me retorts it's p u m P k i n. you don't know how to spell pumpkin??

my first reaction was to chide myself for not being able to spell a bloody fruit. then, i quietly grew indignant; am i supposed to know how to spell pumpkin? how the fuck am i spposed to spell something i've never eaten or touched in my whole fucking life anyway.

stupid yayahead boy. lucky for the bastard i can't remember his face. nabei.

i've always had a quiet respect for george yeo. i don't really know why. i'm pretty sure it's not because he's catholic and i'm catholic. i dunno.. he just seems like a nice guy. and over the years, all the things he's reportedly said in the media has been, well... nice and palatable. you know, not like self-righteous or over zealous. i remember shaking his hand in 1997, when i was at aunty june's hse getting ready for sch and he was doing some walkabout thing. i didn't detect anything on my asshole-detecting radar back then. recently, at the early stages of the election season ths yr, i read some article where he was asked bout contesting against some fella (can't remember who) and he said tt they were friends and tt he respected him (or something to tt effect). i can't recall wat he said but i remember thinking, george yeo is a man of integrity and humility; i totally respect him for not putting on airs or seming pretentious and lame.

oh i remember when we did some gig for the easter funfair at nativity and george yeo was there with his white peeps. i was up on stage singing and i remember secretly hoping tt in between showing his non-churchy friends round the fair, he was also noticing our music and thinking to himself: wow, this band is pretty good. haha. i dunno why it seemed to matter to me.

i don't hink it's just me who's feeling these 'nice guy' vibes. even my driving instructor who's an avid wp supporter from aljunied grc told me he feels genuinely bad for voting against george yeo. says tt his family and george yeo's family come from the same village in china and he's met george yeo's china relatives before and they're decent folks. i guess this is why aljunied is in such a pickle. there this really semangat bunch from an underdog party with moral conscience and then there's the nice guy and some other pple from the incumbent snob party. sporeans feel bad because they have a heart, but i guess pple worry tt voting for you and showing their love will not pay off cos we know company you work for isn't likely to reciprocate the love when it starts implementing policies.

i feel sorry for you too, george. i'm gonna be voting for the love of my country, not for out of sympathy for you. pritam singh really spoke for me when he said you're a good man who just happens to be in the wrong party. i wonder if you knew all the while wat you said needed to be done today- tt the pap needs to learn to listen before rationalising with dissenters, tt it needs change from within. if you had known this before i wish, for your sake, tt you had the courage to say it earlier. unfortunately, though i trust tt you are genuinely believe in this need for change, but i'm not convinced your comrades truly share tt sentiment.

i know we haven't even cast our votes yet but the suspense of waiting to find out the results is killing me.

i haven't been posting much cos i've been nursing a bout of election fever. it keeps me awake at night, with my head in the papers or glued to my swivel chair in front of my laptop, trying to sort out the days' events and the who's who and who said wat about whom and goodness wat else have you.

apparently, ng eng hen said, "Did the opposition bring us from a 3rd world to a 1st world country?"

i suppose he means that it was pap that has seen the country through its brisk and drastic development and to this i would agree. but i would like to ask: wasn't the party itself part of "the opposition" before singaporeans (or wat were to be singaporeans) dared to give them their vote of confidence?


GCT said in an ST article the day before (in response to a student's qn bout LKY's 'repent' remark): "i am not sure (MM Lee) fully understood the religious connotations of the word 'repent' because very often we use it in a secular sense."

I have read this statement like a dozen times and i'm not quite sure wat the fuck he's gg on bout. does he actually mean to say tht the word is often used only in religious contexts? or am i missing something? perhaps i need to be enlightened.

right next to the article from which i got the above quote, there is a box called "Zainul's match-ups", which features some pap fellas comparisons of his own party's candidates against those from wp. seriously, ST... do we really need to know this shit? and it's not as if any fool cannot already figure out wat zainul is gonna say. yes, yes, you think your comrades are fucking fab and that WP pple are damn incompetent and dodgy. gee, i TOTALLY wasn't expecting tt. i could have saved tt 20x35cm column with my series of bao jokes instead. call me naive, but i really didn't think ST was capable of being so brazenly partisan. and guys, could you get even more redundant??!! tsk. bloody pillocks.

ok no more time. i would just like to mention also tt i was quite disppointed with the performance of nsp's tampins team last night (4 may). i had wished, for all sporeans' sakes tt they would show a bit more coherence and gumption apart from suan-ing MBT (whose comments of late have proven him to be quite thick, any hoo).

okok no more procrastinating, amelia. move on.

Mr Brown Show:Too Many To Count-ERP drift HIGH QUALITY AUDIO

HAHAHAAHAH fucking annoying sia, the voice.

the mrbrown show: gee ahruh see (music video)

HAHAHAHAA!

i try my best, but sometimes it's hard not to feel like the biggest fool in the world.

:: Under Cover of Darkness - the strokes

i love you julian casablancas. marry me!!

in other news, i've been starting to read up more on opposition parties and stuff, just in case i get a chance to vote this year. don't wanna anyhow do and then regret it. i've got lots of things to say regarding this country's political system and its parties and the things that ahve been said about several contentious issues tt've been in the talked bout lately. but it's just too much for me to bother to write down here. besides, i don't want this space to be featured on some forum. maybe i'll write more when i have the time and the mood. (one thing tt's quite salient in my mind right now is tt kenneth j s/o jbj kind of speaks like he's got a stiff upper lip. not sure wat the implications of tt are but tt's just bout all i have time to say now on local politics haha). lately i've been reading so much and thinking so much bout things (not just politics) tt i haven't had time to write it all out coherently and read it to myself.

lots of things have been going on this yr and i'm just trying to keep up. on the other hand, there are also things that i want to happen tt haven't quite materialised. Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first.
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes. (aqualung). i really like it tt some song writers are good at coming up with these aphorisms. i know it gets corny sometimes but i like them.

lots of pple hhve been bugging me to upload pics i've taken onto fb so i've been trying to be obliging and do it. while looking for relevant ones for bug-gers, i started looking at some irrelevant old pictures. irrelevant to the requests but apparently, not so irrelevant to me... considering how much time i'm spending browsing and reminiscing.

I read just now on yahoonews (ya, i know, it's trashy but it's a convenient read. plus, the comments are good for laugh sometimes) about some girl called samantha who called in to the 91.3 to rant about how uncultured heartlanders have been swarming her holland v and how it's causing her some sort of distress. pretty inane right? but it gets real bitchy. just read the article yourself --> HERE

and listen to the soundbite --> HERE

...and also, the reply by Maddy from bedok --> HERE


Samantha, did you know that Holland V has tons of HDB flats right at its backdoor? My grandfather lives 5 mins walk from holland v and he wants to know why you are poking fun at his shorts and tai seng slippers. Grandpa also wants you to know that your tacky LV bag and starbucks coffee are spoiling the culture of his holland village kopitiam. He's lived there since 1970, and you were born... when ah? (GRANDPA - 1 , SAMANTHA THE CULTURED BIGOT - 0 !!!)

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy your highclass $5 laksa... while wallowing in your air of self-righteousness. Poor thing.. letting your so-called "culturedness" stand in the way of experiencing the joys of queueing half an hour to pay only $2.50 to enjoy a sumptious bowl of soto ayam istimewa (surprise! we also know how to queue up!) or of taking the MRT far, far away from your safe enclave to shop at Bugis (oh HORROR!!). And suggesting that your pricier bowl of noodles is more superior and too refined for these unsophisticated heartlanders whom you claim to understand so well... Really, who can blame you? Especially since your neighbourhood IS, of course, the most cultured place YOU know. And my, aren't you the most cultured person around.

I'm not so sure about this dichotomy of "Holland V culture" and "heartlander culture" you claim exists, but i'm pretty sure that anyone who draws such infantile conclusions - without even bothering to first fully understand either side, and for the sake of being able to whine about how your rights are being compromised - is obviously an idiot. But don't worry, Samantha... at least you're a CULTURED idiot, no? {:o)


hahaha i just saw a comment on the soundbite page. someone said tt this will probably be on the noose soon. hell yea! i'll make sure not to miss tt episode.

i know it's late but it feels too early to turn in.

will i ever be your raisin bread?

I've been watching your world from afar.
I've been trying to be where you are.
And I've been secretly falling apart, unseen.

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful.
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see;
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you;
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first.
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes.
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you;
You'll fall asleep.
I'll put a spell on you
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...

Yeah...
Yeah...


: Strange and Beautiful - aqualung

:: Qing Ren De Yan Lei (Lovers' Tears) - poon sow keng (pan xiu qiong)



mummy used to play this song on the piano when we were young. (young.. Bah! wat a distant notion! haha). you know, the only chinese songs i really like are the really old ones. like... this one, and teresa teng's stuff, and like wo de xin li zhi you ni mei you ta, and some old hokkien ones. i was just telling karin how odd it is tt despite not ever listening to chinese radio and not watching getai and all tt, i seem to find songs like these very very familiar. i wonder why. i'd never even stepped foot into chinatown till i was in poly. maybe in some past life, i was a trishaw rider with gramophone attached to my ride, and from which i would blare the latest records to try and attract rich taitais. i know... i was so cool right? too bad i had to be reborn as emoqueen#1. oh well. reminising is pretty fun anyhow.



oh see wat karin just showed me:



you can see more of it HERE. pretty smart right. i love simple but smart things. in fact, i love simple but smart pple too. perhaps it's cos i'm complicated and questionably clever. hmm yes.

i'm very lucky tt zehzeh and sean and co. are ok in cc. some bad shit gg on over there. see amelia? it could always be worse. yes i know. God is so kind to me, sometimes i feel like i don't deserve it. but then mummy says tt it's ok tt i overcharge pple for tuition since i almost always give the money away to someone needy in the end anyway. "some pple have so much money and don't donate it at all. so you don't feel bad taking theirs to give to the poor." yes! yet another reason to marry a rich, dying man.

seriously though, why must yet another nice, young, talented, cute one be gay? stop bending the other way! dammit. tsk. kx says: next time you can tell some guy:
you can okay my hamonica & i can blow your trumpet! hahaa. woot! how fun. i only play the cornet for now though... which is a small trumpet but it's ok- size don't matter (though height kind of does for me)... its technique tt counts.

wow wow wee wow: check THIS out. haha oh boy, rockson.

i feel like something is missing tonight. i mean REALLY. i feel like i should be doing something but i can't quite remember wat. how do i go to bed with this? i'm gonna regret in the morning, as i always do.

i've checked my email accounts, i've read the news online, i've looked up several words on google and on malaysia cari (which i love, by the way), i've surfed fb (even leaving an excessive number of unnecessary inane comments tonight)... wat have i left out? i wonder if this nagging feeling will persist and how long it'll go on for.

:: There Is No Love - charlie lim

i reviewed my day at the near-end of my workday and i realised that i really love my kids. is it dangerous to treat them like personal projects? with inanimate things, you have total control (well, somewhat) but with people..? is it too risky to let your sense of achievement and self-worth depend on something(someone) which has the exclusive prerogative to determine his/her own fate? hmm. probably. but, seriously, wat else do i know how to do?

i forgot bout a quote hazy had put up on fb:

Love has reasons which reason does not understand.

profound, huh?

i know- i know i have too much faith, sometimes i'm afraid it may one day kill me. maybe it's not faith i have, perhaps foolishness would be more a fitting description. if i saved you would you love me more?

have issues relating to unrequited love? i'd say the best remedy is to stop loving, but then we know tt if it were really tt simple, there wouldn't be an issue to start with would there?

is it just me or are we all programmed to love the deepest those who don't reciprocate? i shouldn't let myself be emo tonight. emo and sick does not bode well for my tomorrow.

:: There Is No Love - charlie lim


only love can make you feel so high- and so dry.


i remember an evening a couple of weeks back. i was just drifting in my usual area, and msged random pple (well ok, maybe not so random) to find a companion for the night. while i do very profoundly enjoy hanging out with myself, there are many times i feel like i'm . of course, hardly anyone replied. tt is the usual, but of course there's always tt asshole who sits in my consciousness and tells me to just give it a shot anyway and then there's me, the fool, who listens to tt faceless voice. so i walk a lonely 10 minutes or so and then daddy calls.

and then it occured to me tt this nagging loneliness that was plaguing me is probably wat my father feels a lot of the time when he's not working. which is prob why he calls me every so often on saturdays (which is not our usual go-out day) to ask wat i'm doing or if i'm at the esplanade again. and it's also probably why he sometimes asks me to go over and stay. i suddenly felt bad for the times he asked me to stay and i just shot back with some lame excuse to not stay over (when really, i was just being lazy). tt evening i concluded tt this loneliness i've been feeling is probably retribution. and i can think of so reasons why i deserve to feel lonely. so anyway, i ended up hanging out with daddy tt night and i think i stayed over at his place too. no, i wasn't trying to gain karma points. i guess i did it out of empathy. if i was gonna be moping round town, i might as well do it while making someone else a bit less lonely. and also because, even though daddy wasn't on my "random" pple list, i think maybe i needed someone around to distract me.

so there. there's just one thing i've been thinking bout. one of the many.


i sometimes feel like i'm in a movie. is this normal? i suddenly realise tt this question is quite inane, cos i don't really care wat the answer is.


There is no love
No future in nostalgia
No blessing in brokenness
Only feelings to be guilty of
But i'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong

Being a Dickhead's Cool

I got in... (da da da da da!)
You couldn't get in... (na na na na na!)
... Being a dickhead's cool, cool, COOL!

HAAHAHAAHHAAHA. can't stop dancing to this song.

:: Animal - neon trees

it's hard to think deeply about anything outside of school since i'm almost always tired because my days right now revolve around planning lessons, delivering them, giving homework and then figuring out how to get them back all done, then going back home, eating, reading the papers and then checking my email. and also since, despite the drooping eyelids, i insist on keeping such ridiculous sleeptimes.

Oh oh I want some more
Oh oh what are you waiting for
Take a bite of my heart tonight

Oh oh I want some more
Oh oh what are you waiting for
Say goodbye to my heart tonight

:: Noise Singapore CD (courtesy of ain)






hahhaa damn cute right, this fucker! hahahhaa. cuteness max lah.

:: 3 Little Words - frankmusik

hallo -goodbye. hallo -goodbye. i'm so sick of it.

i'm nervous. i feel like i haven't had a good enough break and i can't bring myself to go to bed cos i know tt once i close my eyes, tt'd be the end of my holiday. i'm not ready for sch. i don't like first days.

it's disturbingly quiet in my head right now. i guess i won't know wat's coming if i don't open my eyes and jump right into this yr. ok, here goes. (i wish you were here to hold my hand)