my holiday plans have been foiled by a lousy guitar stand. it dropped on my foot and now i am slightly more cacat than i originally was. so no halloween zouk party, bedok reservoir running or excessive gallivanting for me. boo hoo. and it's not like i usually get the time to do these things on a regular basis. damn you, guitar stand! damn yoo!

do pple have a fixed amount of love in their hearts? so lets say you expend all your heart's worth of love, then you become a stone or something. haha.. a stone.

now.. i'm thinking of taking chinese in my first yr at uni. i'm really really ashamed tt i speak such crap chinese. i want to be ashamed no more! will probbaly forgo music since tt's not even examinable and i can read up music history on my own anyway.

i didn't realise before 18 july tt my job description included 'pupil-admonishing, money-collecting and ah-long-san-ing' and debating. at least i haven't had to resort to hanging pig heads on classroom doors- yet. but for every week of the past few mths, i've been cutting up and posting little menacing notes into various teachers' pigeon holes, reminding them and their little brats tt they owe Auntie Librarian XX of overdue books. i think i spend an estimated half an hour each day debating with various unresonable parents and/or their smelly sons over why they have to take responsibility for books borrowed by them. what i thought was common sense is apparently becoming less common and at a very alarming rate..

i like the overall experience though, despite being reminded at least once a day why i never took up teaching. but i like being around the kids sometimes. i think i'm actually pretty good at my job. heh. i tell you, those little shits are gonna miss me when i'm gone. ah-haha. oh shit i'm so tired. but surfing the uwa site is just way too addictive.

:: Ghost in the Machine - last transmission

:: Sail Away Sweet Sister - queen

sometimes the sun shines sideways into the corner of my eye and it feels as if someone is sitting beside me. hmm.

imbecilic parent volunteers = (10 x susah) + (10 x kangkor) = 1 exasperated and antagonized sick librarian.


eh and can someone tell me ah, why the fuck must all local series have spastic actors with dumb accents. they cannot be bothered to find real local talent ah. shit, i'm so peeved.

gonna watch Full Circle now. hah. this one show not so bad. mm ya.

mummy once took me and zehzeh to this place by the beach. i don't know if it's a dream or not though. oh well. read inventing the abbotts again. it's not so much the story but the words she uses and the things she says.

read the papers just now and i must say i'm really proud of the singaporeans who are over helping at the places affected by the earthquake. good job, ya'll.

obladee obladah.

i saw a sticker on a motorbike parked downstairs:

hello brother jangan sandar me ha. hahaha

tt was on the way back home after the hospital. on the way to the hospital, we got into the car and the song playing on the radio was, i wanna wake up with you... and was thinking this is a song i wouldn't sing to an asthma attack hur hur...
a minute before i woke up gasping for air, i dreamt tt i asked someone, "where to buy air from?" a man replied, "go to Popular, there got a lot." haa like wtf right. so when mummy asked me which doctor i wanted to see, i wheezed, "let's go to Popular."

anyway, changi hospital A&E is pretty screwed up. first thing, they asked me to register and then told me, ok tt'll be 65$. hallllo.. i'm dying of an asthma attack.. do you really think i give a fuck bout how much i'm gonna pay you? how bout you treat me first then we'll talk. TSK. then after tt direct me to one room after another, ask me to stand here stand there and wait. then while waiting i looked at the blue sticker they pasted on me shoulder at the registration counter. it read "patient". {:o/

the stuff they gave me in the nebuliser was different from the salty one at mt.A tt made me laugh non-stop. half of the patients there were in handcuffs. how dodgy. i still like my mt.A better.

by the time we got home the sun was up, and the sky was peeking at us through a little hole in the clouds. i was so tickled by it i couldn't stop grinning. i love the sky and the sun and the clouds. and i love the way they look when they all come together. it's like they had an ethereal orgasm and then playfully splattered a rapturous visual of it in the atmosphere above us. in fact, it's such a titillating sight it's almost pornographic.

:: The Waltz - silje nergaard

i spent the past half hour at Shop N Save buying things i never realised i needed - a building puzzle for ages 3 and above, kotex ultra thin long pads (with new white package design!), a pack (6 pkts) of watercress juice, a can of aloe vera & grapefruit juice. on the way to the counter i also picked up a can of smoked oysters on sale.

ok, tt was the doorbell. just parted with another 14$ for 18 servings of wafer icecream (9 ripple, 9 yam). it's DIY but i've never actually put the wafer round the icecream my self anyway, so ya...


the great thing bout buying things i don't need is tt they always seem to cost less than the things i actually do need (HAR-HAR!). see, i spent 13.90 at the supermarket and then 14 just now (27.90, right) instead of investing $23 on the new ZA anti-cellulite thing (which i probably need more than half a dozen smoked oysters). ok, fine, so i sepnt 4.90 more than i should have, but i managed to get 5 items so it just might be a good deal. maybe. ya.

aunty lucy the kawan taitai of the mumsy was here when i came back and she said i put on weight (lately it seems impossible to meet pple without having to hear bout my weight). like everyone else, she insists i look better with the extra meat. i pulled up my shirt and tried to suggest tt i didn't think my paunch was as sexy as she supposed, but she'd have none of it. then, attempting to make me pull down my shirt and perhaps also to hamper my claims, she finally said, "ok ms britney spears-- you're skinner than britney spears."

well excuse me, but hell yea cos i sure as hell ain't pregnant.

i’ve always thought tt becoming more tolerant would make life a bit easier. Well, it sounds like it makes sense doesn’t it? not being so fussy and opening up to anything and everything and waiting for fate to jump out of nowhere and surprise me; how could anything go wrong if i didn't expect anything got begin with? oh but listlessness can be as vexing and as deadly as missing any goal, hints the boyfriend. i think i just need to keep changing.

it bothers me sometimes tt i keep wishing i were things tt i never have the energy or capacity to be. and it saddens me tt it took me a while to realise i was interested in more things than i previously knew. so opportunities have passed and all i do is sit and rant and occasionally offer myself lame ass consolations such as spending ridiculous amounts of money at watsons/guardian pharmacy/convenience stores. maybe i like feeling like i'm part of some poignant tale - you know, the one where the protaganist is an aspiring bohemian whose waist is expanding and whose pocket is shrinking... maybe i keep all this up to feed my restless self.


i told myself ok let's go jogging today. then mother and stepfather says just now, oh we're going downstairs for a downstairs walk too. and tt totally put me off. i just don't want to be around anyone and considering the size of 'downstairs', it's more than likely i'll bump into them. i treasure my alone time more than most pple realise and i will not feel obligated to offer reasons.

see, now i'm just becoming a cranky slob. this is not helping.

i'm very troubled by my weight and the amount of excess flab i'm putting on. i hate it when i tell pple shit i've been putting on a lot of weight and i feel very unhealthy and i cannot buckle evry single pair of pants i own without suffocating myself and they respond by saying no lah, you're not fat wat. does anyone understand tt i'm not comparing myself to anyone but myself? i don't need feeble statements of consolation. and besides, if anyone was using their fucking ears they would've realised tt i never implied tt i was very fat, but rather tt i am fatter, and tt this would entail a wardrobe revamp which would inevitably cost me some amount of money.

:: The Future - leonard cohen

we went from greece to new guinea today. ok, i'm not so good with analogies, but i'm trying to be artistically esoteric here. haha. i could feel his calm as he watched me dress. and so this is what it's like huh. just like in the movies. oh yes. where do we go, my lovely?

i went to eileen's 21st halloween-themed part just now... dressed as a bed. i'm glad everyone thought it was such a marvellous idea. {:o) i'm really proud of it.

since rima has professed her love for jing, i would also like to mention tt jing is one of the nicest pple i know. kudos to her. i love you too, jing. rima made a very good point too - bout preferring low-maintenance relationships. i'm not sure i've really admitted this before, but i'm really like tt. i don't really make efforts to meet up with friends (old, new, best, bestest, not so best). i don't think it's cos i'm lazy or take my friends for granted (well, not really at least). pple always say "oh ya, we drifted apart". yea, i guess tt happens with most pple we meet, they come and go. but i think there'll always be a small collective of pple who you'll always feel like i can talk to like we just met yesterday even if you haven't seen or spoken to them for more than months. it's a nice thought really.

Calm, relaxed, patient, and cool. You are the
balance. You don't stress out a lot, and like
to just hang around and be around people. You
can be both extroverted and introverted. You
need your own space at times. This painting has
beauty and some sereness to it, which fits you.
The eccentric yellow represents your
individuality.


What Abstract Painting Are You?
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erm, ok. i really like the painting though.