Something tells me I’ll never fit the bill
It’s piercing me as the feeling sinks in.
Cos I know deep inside: if this is a game,
I’m not gonna win.
I’ve had my chance I guess.
I remember having fun.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so complicated
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so difficult.

I’m actually beginning to wonder…
Wonder if this is something I can help; if I can change my fate.
I’m not holy, but I’ve always thought that for everything that happens, it’s probably part of some bigger plan.
Could I tamper with the tides; should I tickle the thorns?
Should I sit and do nothing since the charades have left me forlorn?

I made a resolution to forget the pain, the opportunity cost.
And it’s harder than it seems.
All the time I think of hope, all the time I wish.
And all the time I seem to lose.
I’ll not be one to care; I don’t want to bother.
Still, I feel the ache of loss.


it's amazing how familiar and comforting pain can be sometimes. first it hurts, then slowly you feel confused, then comforted. maybe it's the comfort of knowing tt you haven't yet descended to the lowest levels of indifference.

je vais en france en mai. but now, i'm just trying to stay alive. my breathing is laboured and i'm worried i may not survive the night. damn you, haze. damn you.