i'm itching to go out but i want to be alone when i do.

the truth of the matter is tt i like being around guys (except certain times when they make me feel left out by talking bout stuff tt i don't know and then not filling me in cos they think i don't have to know). girls are fun to bitch with and talk sentimentality but if i were to be stuck on an island with only girls, i would be bored to death after not long.

when a boy constantly hangs out with girls and acts like them, chances are he'll be teased for being a sissy/gay/watever. for some odd reason, i used to prefer playing with boys than with girls as a kid. i can imagine tt if i'd gone to a co-ed sch, i'd have been closer to the boys. and it happens tt most of mummy and daddy's friends who had kids, always had 2 - the older one a girl, the younger one a boy. (does this make me lesbian? hurhur) and i always ended up gumming with the boy more. i think i had to bring this up cos i feel like i'm the only one i know of who feels this way. but surely i wasn't the only 5-year-old girl who used walk run round the hse without a shirt cos she thouht she was a boy...? during the days when roleplay was nothing but an innocent game (which included fun roles such as teacher and student, mummy daddy and baby, ninja turtles and various characters frm Police Academy), i usually thought it was only natural tt my role be male or androgynous.

it's not tt men have more to offer than women; it's just something different. and cos i had no male figure to look up to, i've always been - and still am - quietly fascinated by tt difference (which isn't anythign to do with body parts, if you please). i take pride in the fact tt i have a good number of platonic male friends. and i often prefer to talk to them instead of with my girl friends. i don't seem to feel the need the urge to look at guys as much as most straight girls i know but i guess having more than one non-platonic male friend in this lifetime would make things a little more exciting than they are at this very moment.

so i forgot my point exactly but i think it was tt right now and at this very moment, i'm itching to throw myself into something tt doesn't involve the internet, and if you are male, you won't have to goad me off my ass cos i'd gladly go where you will.


listening to: Road to Nowhere, talking heads