if i don't write down my agendas, by the follwing day, i'll forget wat i did today. and to me, this is a tragedy. zac asked me wat i'd been up to and i realised i wasn't sure and so i'll start being more diligent in writing dwn the ins and outs of my days, until i get a proper life.

since i've emerged from the nest of lies tt i'd been sleeping in for the past year, i've found blatantly honest pple extremely refreshing. which is why i'm happy i met zac. probably one of the most interesting pple i've met in life. and watever/whoever makes me laugh right now is good.

recovery has been seemingly speedy but ovulation seems to have made me regress. been emoa bit again. but some reminiscing was good- yesterday at times bkshp i was looking at a bunch of dictionaries and phrasebooks. i picked up the chinese phrasebook and suddenly i remembered the day at the hostel when dylan and i were trying to read the chinese phrasebook tt was sitting on the shelf. he had tried to read the phrase tt meant do you have condoms or something like tt, and it was hilarious also because i didn't fucking understand a single word haha.. tt was so much fun. i stood at times and laughed to myself. i have no regrets.


being in the band took up most of last week. it's spposed to make me feel good (i assume) but being around more and more music industry pple has made me feel sadder bout myself. i'm not shit but i feel extremely inadequate. no social capital but worse still, little more musical competence than a halfpast six choirgirl. feels like shit but i guess we ahve to start somewhere. i'm desperately on the lookout for someone patient enough to teach me more. i need a bit of direction.

i have to get down to getting this whole driving thing done too. blurgh. i need a job.