wasting time on fb again and then suddenly i spot the mindjolt game dropsum and it takes me back to bunbury. me and dylan made love, fell asleep then woke up at 6 in the morning and spent all our coins at the computers playing dropsum for over an hour. how do you forget these things?

i did the laundry today. i went dwn to buy bread. i haven't done any hmwk yet. i'm losing drive. i finished the last antibiotic today. my throat doesn't hurt anymore and i can pretty breathe easy but i don't have half my voice back. it's my everything right now- my work, my play, my outlet. i quite literally can't afford not to have it for any longer than this. this is really frustrating.

we're almost halfway through this year; is it just me or did someone press the fast forward button? christmas came without warning and everything else followed suit and i feel like i'm having time thrust upon me. i want to attend some arts fest events. i want to go catch free weekend gigs at the outdoor theatre. i want to save up and go to london to visit karin. it all seems so easy to do but i'm not getting anything done.

becoming more independent in my 2nd and 3rd yrs also made me more used to just being by myself and to a certain extent holing up in my room amusing myself, cept when me and the guys were all in the kitchen at the same time or in between assignments. and now i'm back the family's always in the parents' room talking and watching tv togetehr and i'm just sitting out here on my own watching a different channel, living on a different plane, tuned into my own frequency. i never thought tt re-integrating would require any effort at all but 6 months into it, and i find myself still sitting in the living room by myself, not at all compelled to join in the family ruckus. it's a bit sad when i think bout it but it doesn't bother me immensely. if i don't think about it.

i'm rambling again. but random voluntary reflection is much more compelling than lesson planning.