the last few months of the year are always bittersweet for me. rainy - which i quite like - and chilly and windy enough for me to layer up and wear as many colours/patterns as i like in one getup. but it's lonely. oh, but wait- that's like nearly every day of my life for the last couple of years. lonely.  tough.

so i guess end of year is not tt special. the cold and the cloudiness makes my mind awake but leaves me wanting to hide under the covers, so that i am constantly and acutely aware that i have no one to get warm and toasty under the blanket with.


they say that you can't truly love someone and have them love you unless you know how to love yourself. i agree. but i am sick of loving just myself and not being loved by anybody else. and i certainly don't love my job enough to enjoy being fucked by it.

thank goodness i don't live in one of those places where it's cold and the days and nights are dark for half a year. i can't imagine feeling this deprived every single day for 6 straight months.