WOO-HOO!!!!!!!! uncle jeffrey fixed my comp! it's great to have a tech-savvy stepfather. anyway, right now, i'm a bit high... don't know why. maybe it's because i watched 3 hrs of CSI just now; made me feel so detective-ey heh. tt doesn't explain why i'm high... oh well haha. ~trip to fridgerator~ ok, just had some of zehzeh's angelfood cake with homemade jam. i'm calmer now. i've finished reading A Clockwork Orange(damn horrorshow, my droogs) and Sue Miller's short stories (only Inventing the Abbots was good). uncle jeffrey might get retrenched (SIA being bitchy and all); tt'll make me feel even worse bout not having a job. if my attachment isn't next sem, i'll do waitressing.

helped my mother with babysitting today. got bored with the kid after awhile. A dormant fear erupted in my mind: would i get sick of my kids next time? will i get sick of my husband? i know it sounds all farfetched, but sometimes i'm afraid my lack of passion and my short-term fads will be the death of me. i need a commitment to challenge me - maybe a new relationship or a job or something.

i have this theory - that every person is but a container of unique experiences. some containers are transparent, some opaque, others inbetween. of various materials though all bout the same shape. but it's the bottles' contents - what we experience - that makes us us. an empty bottle wouldn't be stupid person; it'd someone who didn't experience much. good or bad, you decide. i can't explain it all, but tt's basically the jist. yeah.
lately i haven't dipped into the low end of the mood spectrum. i need a poignant anything to come pique my mind.