oh boy am i sick. struggled to breathe the whole of yesterday. used inhaler, but it wears off after an hr. then finally went to Mt. Alvernia. the doctor gave me this disapproving look when he asked me why i hadn't come in earlier cos my condition was really bad. they put me on the inhaler (the tank type). and for those 10mins, i took in only pure oxygen. i'm not sure if they added anything else to the gas, cos it tasted kindof salty... ugh.
i'm not sure why, but when i told mummy tt i needed to go to the hospital, i was so tickled by the idea. somehow going to the doctor's always tickles me. (not good in this case, since i could barely breath, let alone laugh). anyway, i got to take home the plastic breather thingy i used with the tank inhaler; i can bring it with me t any GP and attach it to their tank inhaler for instant oxygen boost. yea! haha. shit i still can't breathe.

today i sat round thinking of things to do. turned the radio to symphony (yes, i do like classical music) and did a few jigsaws... bout 4 or 5 i think. then finished my Dogbert book. went on to read Douglas Coupland's Life After God. (thank you andrew for recommending it) it's got some pretty good stuff. you can borrow frm me as soon as i'm done.

couldn't go for cousin gertie's wedding cos i was sick. thank God. my poor zehzeh was stuck in the car with grandpa and daddy and aunty bino. at the lunch, she was stranded at the same table as daddy, aunty bino and (vien, guess who!!)....Dr. Dev!
tt fucker. i hate him. ugh... i knew they were having an affair - him and aunty bino. it's disgusting. well, while we're on the topic of my family's affairs, i think it's also apt to mention tt daddy is having an affair with aunty jessie. and i'm not sure wat happened to tt girlfriend of grandpa's... oh the sick world that is ours.
if you really look at it, i'm actually a product of hand-me-downs. if you don't know what i mean, approach me anytime i'm free and ask me to paint you a picture of my family's very very unconventionally-extended family. then, we will also discuss my chances of unwittingly continuing this twisted family (er-hmm) tradition. (please note, the previous mentioned activity might take a whole day. so only ask me, if you're really free.)

i hope i don't have sars. no, i am not kidding. i'm really worried. sore throat, flu and cough, breathing laboured, backaches and headaches (last 2 are probably due to tt time of the month, but i'm still scared). i considered asking Godma to pray for me, but i didn't; i've fallen out with God and i don't wanna be praying just cos i'm in need. cos tt's all i ever do - pray only in times of need. put simply, i'm just guilty ok. i don't want to ask something of someone whom i've abandoned. i don't know wat's left for me anymore. i just don't want to die right now. not this way.