party at my place yesterday night. i was hoping chelsea wouldn't come but she did. tt's ok - i don't dislike her or anything; but i know tt with her around, it'll be very hard for stuart to try anything.
don't get me wrong - i really don't like stuart all tt much. i just dont like it tt he made it clear he likes me and tt we might go somewhere, but now he's leaving it hanging. lately, i've been feeling like reading my Life After God, but pam still has it. i will ask for it back.

last night i assumed a stoic stance. ok, fine, so maybe i wasn't completely stoic, but i felt quite aloof anyway. i know tt i've been feeling like tt lately also cos of bloodloss. (this is one thing i always find so fascinating bout myself- tt i can be so aware of things. i'm not boasting but merely stating an observation. ya.)

when i get like tt, the world just seems to pass me by like it doesn't care. i used to be bothered tt the life didn't seem to care bout me. but i know now tt tt's not the way to play this game.
i notice tt many pple's msn messenger nicknames are always to do with love (or the lack thereof). i can't claim to be an exception.

after everyone left, i realised tt denise had visited my blog. and i was a bit irritated cos i know tt tt means other pple would've seen it. and i told her only she, ian and debra knew. and obviously, i do have my reasons for keeping it from everyone else. obviously, when i write in my blog, i am fully aware of the implication of posting personal shit online. this, however, is of little consolation to the irritation i am experiencing now.

i don't like it if family members know too much bout what's going on in my mind. i guess it's cos they already have a perception of me since i was young and to kill tt would seem the weirdest thing to do. it's like being naked in front of them. now, if i wanted to do a striptease, i'd rather do it in front of pple i don't know than in front of my family. get my point?

ok. singing for 3.30pm baptism. bye.