i just msged daddy to say i won't be able to stay over anytime this week cos i'm very busy. i hope he hasn't already killed himself. i always worry tt when i'm mean to him and all, he'll just lose it. i mean really lose it. he hasn't replied yet; maybe he's sleeping.

now i feel ok. today, however, totally sucked. i can't keep up with everything. i felt like crying today. was zombie-ing round the radio studio, leaning against doors and whispering to myself. it's not only cos i'm tired; i just can't keep up with everyone else. i don't feel like pple trust me with work, and frankly, i don't think i want to trust myself either. i just wish someone would give me a chance. i don't fancy crying in front of pple, so i lay across daw7 chairs and tried to sleep. a few minutes later, i awoke - disgusted and disappointed to find tt i was still alive. damn this life.

the other day, i broke the news to myself - i don't think i really like stuart all tt much; i was just bored and needed something to do (eg. liking someone random). c'est dommage - truly. but anyway, he's not even interested enough to even send me a single sms.

helping dom a bit with work now. laters you.