just now, zehzeh wanted to watch starworld and she wouldn't let me watch Get Real on cna. i got fucking angry. yes, i do mean really really angry. i went to bathe and threw things round in the toilet. threw my fists against the wall, hit my head on it a few times as well. i always hurt myself when i'm angry and i don't know why. beats me. (ignore the pun). and somehow, it irritates me when the bite marks and scratch marks fade. then i have nothing to show for it. it's almost as if i'm proud of what i do. i'm not sure if i realise tt slapping myself and hitting my head might actually be detrimental to my physical and mental wellbeing. don't care lah.

what's amusing is the incredible irony of the whole episode: i wanted to watch Get Real because today's show was on anger management.

i guess God's not so bad at jokes then. it's quite funny really.

i prefer nada surf's version of Where is My Mind to The Pixies' one. chad brocks' rendition of Take it to the Limit is beautiful. ost. Space Cowboys. go have a listen. it had almost the same effect on me as Silje's The Waltz.

i duno wat possessed me to take on the JAE helper job. $18 to go back to sch for half a day tmr and assist pple signing up. is it worth it? ok, the only perk is tt i'm 18$ closer to tt 124$ bikini frm Tannlines. stupid dumbass prakash was laughing when i said i wanted to get a bikini. that dumbfuck. i am hot sexy bitch, you hear me! HOT SEXY BITCH! ah-haha!