ON PLAY: Hang, Matchbox 20

this is my favourite song for now. lots of thanks to beda bhai maan who sent it to me. i'm also beginning to like low rider by War. roger recommended tt.

READING: The Haunted Tea-Cosy by Edward Gorey

yesterday i sang for a wedding at 12noon. as usual, got sabo'd into doing a solo for the 1st verse of as the deer, and singing the kyrie(eleison) by myself (cos the priest, apparently, was tone deaf or something). good tt i didnt screw it up. at the reception, i bumped into jill thong (tvprod lecturer), who asked if we were free to sing for her wedding in oct. she said i could contact her via her ext in sch. awkward. well, if we do sing for her wedding, will she promise not to invite crotchety old fish?

gabriel was playing his bond cd yesterday before choir practice started and i was imagining myself dancing some salsa or somehting to the music, and the adrenalin rush i'd get and how happy i'd be. then i thought bout how wonky my knees were and i felt horrible. i really love the feeling i get when i dance. i must pray for a miracle. but it's hard enough to pray at all...

sometimes when i face the sun at a certain angle, i can see things in my eyes. ya, i do mean things floating on top of my pupils. little organisms tt resemble wat you might see under a microscope or something. and they're alive. i know they're there, but no one believes me because they dont see it; pple dont tend to look too far beyond. it frustrates me when i tell pple these things and they look at me funny and don't even want to try to understand wat i mean. if only they'd look a little harder.

sometimes when i look at scenery, i see little airwaves moving randomly in front of it. and my eyes focus on the layer of waves, ignoring the distant view and the things closeby. so it seems like i'm out of focus with everything. but i'm not, really. i want you to try and see wat i see.

stuart returns to melbourne today. he was in church yesterday, but now there's an awkwardness between two of us. he probably thinks tt i don't like him as much anymore and tt's why i'm acting cold. i'm loud but sometimes i'm shy with pple i like. but i guess he wouldn't be totally wrong to think i don't like him as much. and maybe he doesn't think i'm so hot anymore either. oh well.. i just wonder if i'm the first girl to do this to him.

i hate it when pple call me a kentang. i am not kentang or kantang... or however you wanna pronounce it. i'm proud to be a fusion of everything i know. and just cos i don't speak/read/write chinese well, doesnt mean i adore the ways of the west. tt's a very narrow way to see it. i wish pple weren't so quick to judge. i know it sounds self-righteous, but sometimes i wish pple were as understanding and accepting as me.

ON PLAY: They Can't Take That Away From Me, Harry Cornick Jr.