i find imperfection in small, random doses extremely appealing.

thom yorke's unevenly sized eyes, freddie mercury's bucked teeth, suchlike, suchlike... but still i am but human, and i am not without bias; i love men with music in them and i 'm not sure i can love any other kind. the imperfections will have to come in other forms (egs mentioned above).


i've calculated $326 to be added to my savings, just as long as i remember to hand in my timesheet. fuck, i hope i do.

yesterday was jon's bday party. i know he's disappointed more of us couldn't stay over and i wish i could make it better for him. anyways, cheers to him today on his 19th bday. love you lots and lots, jon-jon.

i was high before i got there and for the first one and half hrs i was there and was consequently captured by camera in some extremely unflattering poses. i haven't spoken tt much or laughed so much in days. it was good to get out.

julius asked me to sing for his film, Kiat. i said ok but i'm kindof scared cos i've no idea wat i'm expected to sing and everytime i get excited bout something, it turns out bad eventually. let this go all right, please.

for quite a while now, i've been wanting to learn how to play the piano. i do mean play, and not slap my fingers on the keys like i always do. will anyone teach me?

which is better - being a jack of all trades or being really good at something. i consider myself the former and am proud of it. ok, maybe i'm really good at laughing and letting my moods take me on rides to the polars. but i really suck with musical instruments and i can't help but wonder if i'd actually be good if i had a lesson proper or an objective. the same goes for ballet. i wish i'd started earlier, and i also wish i'd stop wishing and start doing something bout it.

the problem with me, i realise, is tt i don't know where to start and likewise, how to end. and this applies ot almost everything i do. from bathing, up till going to the bank. i could stand under the shower for 3 hours if no one stops me. without an extreme motive, i would never go to the bank simply cos i wouldn't know what to do and how to do watever it is they do at the bank (see: write a check and deposit it, withdraw money blablahblah). i guess you could say i'm street-stupid (a term coined by andrew in a long ago conversation hah). i attribute this partly to my being the baby of the family and having been pampered quite a bit. so i'm constantly reminding myself tt i need to find a way to get out of Clueless Avenue and start up Haveabitmore Drive, but the problem is (surprise, surprise!) i have no idea where to start.

i was really excited bout julius' idea to go on a round-spore trek some (ok, maybe not some - more like a lot) time ago. i was gonna propose staying at budget hotels and dormitories for a whole week, and wake up each morning to trek. i can't remember why, but the trekking idea never got anywhere. i really was hoping it would increase my street-smartness (hur hur). little chance of tt this holis either, what with all the work. then after i graduate, i guess.


listening to: So Beautiful, pete murray (thanks nad. love this song)