sometimes i wonder where my spirit has gone because i realise tt i've become so relatively calm over the past 3 years. it used to be tt when i was happy, it was a loud kind of happy. but now it seems i've found the patience to listen to my soul. maybe this all sounds corny when i say it but i guess tt's only because the beauty of such serenity is not meant to be articulated because no words tt i know of will ever be able to describe the depth of such calm.

maybe i'm only like this when i listen to my symphony and maybe when mummy goes and turns the radio off (which i know will piss me off), this feeling will disappear and be replaced by one much less sublime. or maybe in a selfish way, i'm finally learning to be.

more often nowadays, i find myself being anti-social, sometimes to the point where i temporarily loathe having to be around others. perhaps i care much less bout the world now because i'm tired of keeping up with it. i wonder if this is what it's like to find enlightenment, or peace, or watever it is we're all secretly looking for.



:: 92.4