Running into you like this without warning
Is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning
But I'll try, I'll try to keep my food down
That's quite an aftertaste that you've left
Now that you're not around

You can just pretend we're not in the same room
Well, alright, I'll just mosey to the bathroom
You flew by like a summer vacation
And you left me with TV-movies and a messy kitchen

I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways
Just for awhile
but until then I'll stay in and sleep late,
excuse me

I'll buy a fast car, I'll drive fast from here
There's a beach I haven't seen since last year
It's far, but I like night drives
It just makes it nicer when I do arrive

I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways
Just for awhile
but until then I'll stay in and sleep late,
excuse me

Aren't you going to miss me?
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?

Well, you can bet that I'll forget how it was then
All the drives to your farm for the weekend
But I've seen the swimsuit magazines
And I've smelled tequila the first thing in the morning

I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways
Just for awhile
but until then I'll stay in and sleep late,
excuse me

Aren't you going to miss me?
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
You are years away from me
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
One thing to me anymore

:: I Think I'll Disappear Now - crash test dummies


i still remember clearly where i first saw the words to this song. i was blog surfing and came across the lyrics liyana's blog (i didn't know her personally then).


i'm usually afraid of myself more than anything else. i don't trust myself but i would like people to trust me on most things, or at least pretend they do.

tuesday, i found myself alone at burger king again. i didn't feel like eating burgers but i'm glad i went in and sat where i sat. i looked up frm my meal smiled to myself when i realised that some of the walls had van gogh paintings hung up on them. i didn't recognise any of them but i knew they were van gogh's and i took out mr.mindthegap and wrote this quickly down cos i wanted to keep the happy moment and tell it to you today as opposed to tomorrow or next year.

i'm glad maan is back frm london. was just lamenting to him tt i miss being sad. "-thats the thing with manic depressives isnt it, they like being sad", he said. ok i didn't know tt. i used to do lots of research on depression cos i often found myself feeling morose for no reason. and on days i wasn't overwhelmed with sadness, i'd be missing the depression. then i 'realised' earlier this year that maybe i was just having recurring symptoms of my epilepsy. if anyone has read this, by now they'd probably be thinking how full of shit i am. it's ok, i think that too sometimes.

see this. just a funny. ok.

i thought tt having a boyfriend again would bring me closer to God because i would suddenly become happy and increasingly grateful to God and pray lots in church. but i think i've become even more disinterested. i fear the devil has me now. and it scares me how i am only mildly worried. i'm also worried i will get bored of eleanor rigby, like many others before her. and i haven't even reached the part where i find out who eleanor rigby is. i don't trust myself, tu comprends?

i wish it wasn't this complicated but then i like a challenge, don't i? well ok but if anyone's gonna be hurt, i want to it to be me. is hurting myself hedonistic if i'm a masochist?