i've stopped remembering the things tt i see in my sleep. not by choice, of course. i'm feeling sad and tired. i don't know how it started, but some time yesterday as i was packing up to go home, i felt worn. i had planned to watch a movie so i was msging several pple. i was hoping one person would go with me; not 'at least' one, but just one. because i wasn't lonely, just sad. on the bus, i was on the brink of having a sobbing fit. i wanted to call lidong and tell him not to leave me. not tt i any reason to believe he would. i just needed assurance.

i got to work today feeling unloved. i wish the rain would pour down and soak me in its dewy goodness.

:: Worn me Down - rachael yamagata

watching the movie by myself didn't really make me feel better. especially since it was a damn cock show, bloody self indulgent film. it was so bad, when it ended, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. i haven't felt this down in quite a while. i feel like lying on lidong's bed and watching cars like we did tt night before my birthday.