i hate myself and i feel fat and ugly. i don't always feel like tt. just sometimes. it's not nice. you know how much i hate my face? i just realised i look like a fucking pig when i smile, did you know.

when lidong finishes his new course at changi, i'll be packing off to perth. if im in a crappy mood like i am now while i'm stuck in perth, i wonder wat i'll resort to. it'll be lonely without my baby. fucking period. fukcing face. how did i get like this.


yesterday they changed the venue for mummy's bday dinner and no one told me. went to novena and everyone else went to east coast lagoon. but God made me go there cos i had to help an old woman jay walk. she asked me if i wanted to eat with her but i said sorry i had dinner planned. maybe i shouldve walked back and ate with her after i found out curryleaf was closed and they were all at east coast. maybe i don't have to like myself. i dont think the pple i help really care bout how i look like. but somehow tt doesnt make me feel better. you know how some pple just have tt kind of face tt pple think is pretty? when they breakout or dress like crap, somehow pple still think they look good. i feel foolish for being so impertinent and so jealous and superficial. but i cant make this feeling go away. isnt tt the worst thing bout a high? the only way is back down or lower.