hi, can i be your friend?

can i stop feeling like you don't think so highly of me now?
can i hold you tight and say i wish we'd made it?
can i get to know you better the way you say i never did?
can i do it all without grimacing?


this couldn't have come at a worse time. nor a better time. just tt i have no time. but i'm thankful i can sing. i'm thankful i can multi-task. and i'm thankful for the distractions.

it's not that i haven't been happier than a month ago. en effet, i've been feeling lighter since the thursday before last and even lighter since the following monday. but when i'm alone, it comes back to me again and again and again. it bothers me that though you couldn't wait to see me and though we were supposed to talk bout it when i got back (you said so yourself), none of tt looks like it's gonna happen. can ideas and feelings just disappear like tt? poof. bye bye. adieu. how come i feel so uncomfortable? i'll call you ok? i hope you don't ignore me; i know you prefer to shut out things you don't like. (tt's your 'flaw', if you like. the one i won't pretend i can overlook). i wish you knew me better too.

so much for sleeping before 3.