i carried three pumpkins one and half times the size of my head up the hill all the way from the market. no time to put them in rez so i decided to put one in my bag so i could carry them to class. bad idea, my only functional school bag broke. got 57% for french listening compre midsem. pretty upsetting. i realised though, while lugging nearly quarter my weight of pumpkins and a french dictionary, that i have an amazing amount of determination. surely not all the time, but i do anyways.

right now i like work so much better cos at least i know what i'm doing most of the time. the other day some guy gave me a dollar tip. it wasn't even part of his change. he paid his drink with the exact amount and then took out another loonie (dollar coin) and said and this is for you. i really liked that. wish i could keep it but we'd already agreed to use our tips to sponsor two kids from bolivia. it's good that my charisma is sending someone to school right? i feel really touched when pple gimme tips and you know they're not doing it just to get rid of their coins. makes me feel like i'm good at what i do.

i was donatello on sat for halloween chez nicky. heather said i had the best costume. i didn't think so but i did think it pretty sick. then i got wasted at a keg party on a plastic cup of cranberry with smirnoff. sick turtle. very unglamorous. slept at a record-breaking 1.30am. go buy 4d.

it'll be nice to feel love again.

watched bout half of kat's hockey match last night (sunday night) and then went over to watch some guys playing in the other arena. very impressive and strangely titillating. i wondered to myself why i felt that way and i concluded that i was the kind of girl who needs to be with alphamale. not the strongest physically but someone i deem to have a strong personality. i guess lidong always felt a bit offended, saying how i wanted him to be the best blablablah. but why wouldn't i want you to be the strongest you could be? it still makes perfect sense to me. i guess i never felt like he challenged himself or tried very hard to make his own life happier than it could be. and tt made me unsettled and geram. it's not bout him though, this talk. i wonder what i really look for in life when it comes to tangible things.