lapster is screwing me over again. as it was restarting, i just had an epiphany. well ok, it's not that dramatic but i just realised that maybe the reason dylan refused to pick up the ph was not tt he was scared i'd be angry but tt he hated hearing me cry. he hated seeing or hearing me cry cos it hurt him. and it hurt him even more knowing tt he made me cry. it always made him angry with himself.
all this shouldn't matter anymore. but it does anyway. oh well.
i want to move on. and i am. lets go!