i'm feeling quite excited about life today. went a-gallivanting by myself again after tuition. as usual. had cheap chicken rice lunch (yay! save money!) and then checked out the popular at toa payoh. marshall cavendish has some really good picture glossaries and dictionaries. fantastic. if they were like 5$, i'd have bought them but they were bout 11$ each so i'll think bout it. really really nice books though. i think mon petit gars will like them. maybe i should get him one before he leaves. so anyway, i moved on to the stationery section and i got really excited over grey coloured erasers and cute stamps (chop!, say chop!) which i'm thinking might be a good investment for my relief teaching stint.

on the way to the bus stop, i stalled at the pasar hari (as opposed to pasar malam) where i had lots of trouble leaving the toy shop without buying anything. i almost got tt penguin thing where the penguins go up the stairs and then slide back down one by one on the swirly slide. fantastic, those old sch toys. and tt, and some other similar ones only cost around 18 each. and they're way better than all the lame shit they make these days. so anyway, i only had 9$ so i settled for something smaller but no less amusing. next, the knicknack shop- the one every pasar hari needs; combs, cup covers, ashtrays, nailclippers, toy guns, rubber doorstoppers, wooden clothes pegs, plastic crockery and everything else you can and can't think of. i think i spent almost 20mins just walking round tt shop alone. you know what, i should just marry a shop keeper lah. so anyway, having already spent a whopping 1.50 at the toy store, i decided tt i would resist temptation and only get ONE packet of assorted buttons. don't ask why; i shouldn't even need an excuse, really. tried a new bus route today to go home and played with my new toys on the bus. say hallo, please:





haha he was having so much fun dancing on the window sill tt he fell onto the floor under my chair and got me all frantically scratching the grimy bus floor in search of him. but the nice pakcik behind picked it up for me. he smiled at me as he handed it over my shoulder. i wonder what he mustve been thinking but i'm guessing it was along the lines of OMG TT'S THE FUCKING COOLEST TOY I'VE SEEN IN THE PAST 30 YRS. MAYBE IF I SMILE AT THE CRAZY BAG LADY, SHE MIGHT LET ME KEEP IT. well, sorry uncle, not a chance. anyway, when he got off the bus later (the uncle, i mean. not my little dancing man), he smiled at me again. i like the way my weirdness seems to make pple happy. it makes me happy as well. in fact, was soo happy, i was still smiling as i sang along to Lover i Don't Have to Love on my zen. then i thought to myself oh my i think i've really lost it... but hell i'm so happy i really don't give a shit.

so yes, anyway, today stands in stark contrast to the very disconcerting lastsaturday and perhaps we should treat everyday an isolated incident, and our lives as a collective of incoherent isolated snippets from different movies. ok i had it all clear in my head just now but it's not coming out right.

oh, ALSO, as the bus went past where i used to live, some of the blks tt used to be there were gone, replaced by some up and coming condo which i will probably hate the look of but will inevitably get used to anyway. on any other day, i would've bitched in my head bout the deciduous nature of everything on this island but today i felt like this was a metaphor for the way the remnants of my traumatic past would be bulldozed and knocked into oblivion by my renewed heart and reconsituted spirit. beautiful huh? hhaha. fucking romanticism.

19 02: dinner, betches.