:: Bless This School - (the voices of my little rascals in my head)

ok so here's the lowdown, amelia: i've been fucking lazy at work recently. i dunno why. i hope it's not cos i'm losing momentum cos i think it's waaay too early in my this career to be going down. it's tt one article i've got to do. everytime i think of having to complete it, i'm reminded of why i chose teaching over anything masscommy.

so anyway, almost exactly one year ago, i logged onto fb to find myself dumped by the man i thought was the love of my life and the one whom i had envisioned myself spending the rest of my (sex)life with. it seems likea really long time ago. still, i'm grateful for the kind wishes frm all directions. my flatmates, my old friends, my not so old friends, a distant relation.. it made me realise how many pple i actually knew in my life and how many good impressions i mustve left (at least good enough for pple to want to say kind words to me in my time of despair, despite our dearth of communication up till then). tt was nice. i hope i could find it in me to do the same to someone when the need arises.

last week, regina brought up something tt made my guts curl up in shame. i know i have a bit of an ego but sometimes i let it get the better of me and then i just wanna slap myself for being so self-absorbed. how are you going to say anything comforting when you don't even notice it needs to be said, amelia? shame on you!


in other news, i've been blowing all my weekend tuition money (135-180) on taxirides and food. as usual. tsk, i'm just doing my bit in feeding the economy ok! and this is good, no?

(i am just thinking of other random shit to blabber on bout so tt i can avoid tt damn article.)

right, so... all this contact with dysfunctional/non-functional families at sch and all has been prompting me to try and recall wat i was like in sch when mummy and daddy were "not on good terms". mummy always told us we could tell pple tt if anyone asked. which was good i guess. actually it's damn good. the worst thing you can do to a child is tell them tt they're not allowed to tell anyone tt their parents are breaking up. like as if it's something the child ought to be ashamed of. TOTALLY cruel. just cos your marriage is dysfunctional, doesn't mean your kids have to be.. unless of course, you insist on bringing them up tt way. then i think you need to be smacked real hard.
how did we even get to talking bout this?

so.. moving on.. the extremely short (yet seemingly long) hiatus in attention i've been receiving made me feel a bit empty. and slightly (just slightly) insecure. and i had tried to take preemptive measures (such as telling myself i was just being delusional) just in case this were to happen. but it did happen and i wasn't ready for it. but i never am, am i, Am? so... what do you call it when it seems like you both seem to need to see each other every week?


haven't jammed in a while and it's beginning to feel normal- not good!!! what happened to the withdrawal symptoms i used to get? i should be cold turkey by now. oh man. cmon.. don't lose momentum now..