:: The Only Exception - paramore

you know, this is the closest i've come to something hopeful. but just remembering the intoxicating high i revelled in before i plummeted all the way down is enough to deter me. cos when you're so high up, the only way is down, innit? i think if i was just a bit crazier than i am, i'd prob be one of those pple who'd, when they've found their true love, would kill them and then commit suicide. just to keep it pure, if you know what i mean.

:: You've Got The Love - florence and the machine

i think we need to jam pretty soon.

starting my course in less than 2 weeks and i duno how i feel bout it. meeting new pple is good... i guess? sometimes i feel like i should stop meeting new pple. since i'm already having trouble finding the time to keep up with the gazillion friends i already have (not a sarcastic statement). but then it's not like i can help meeting pple. i'm like an accidental social whore. i wonder if it's cos pple are drawn to me or if it's that i'm unconsciously compelled to impinge on everyone's life in tt annoying way i do. could be both, could be neither. back to the point bout meeting pple - and i think i've mentioned this before- i think i've met such a ridiculous number of pple in my various mini-lifestages tt any new person i meet inevitably reminds me of someone ive met before. what do i make of this? yet to figure tt out.


so... anyhoo, i've decided since some time last yr tt i'd only feel really safe being with someone (if i had to be with them longterm) who loved me for my grouchiest face. you know tt corny line "Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile."? it sounds nice and purty but really, wat's the point? the thing is, i have a lovely smile (or so i've been told) and i know pple like my smile- not cos i'm egotistic but cos i've been told waaay too often.. by taxi drivers, colleagues, my kids, random old pple blablah. see? everyone likes my smile. if someone only falls in love with your smile, where they gonna be when you're bawling your eyes out? so there- i'll only ever be convinced of true love if he (hypothetical he) can look at my sullen slut of a face and without even trying, love me (emotional baggage, crazy outbursts and wat have you). now that's wat i call true love. ready to find the love of your life? put on your blackest face, bitches!