i've always worried that posting my ramblings to myself on a blog such as this one (as opposed to just rambling to myself alone) would cheapen my words. maybe it has. tough shit.
i know i'm crazy, but it hurts to know you like to make fun of that. it's not all fun. just like my stupid scandalous family. it's fun for me to talk bout it but it's not fun knowing that i'll probably turn out like them.
Jump by kriss kross. is not a song to listen to when i'm sitting at beside a window feeling neurotic. spinning around to hard rock makes me high and dizzy so i lie on my bed with little means to get to a kitchen knife.
just keep talking. talk me out of this. i'm choking on adrenalin vomit. take me to live with you, happy shiny people. my head is pounding my body is numb. sobriety, where are you?