this morning, to myself:
i had a sighting. i saw something i loved. something which no one else saw; or maybe everyone saw it but i was the only one who felt the way i did. so as with most sightings, pple all asked: wat is it you see? i could not answer tt question because i didn't know. and i couldn't answer tt question unless i knew wat the others didn't see. now, i've lost sight of wat i saw. but tt's ok; everything dies off anyway.





I sang you a lovesong;
my words were true.

I sing you a new song,
an elegy for you.

... maybe i know what i saw tt i loved so much: it was love. and this would just prove me right (i've deduced this before) - tt i love love [sic]; and love is what i fell in love with.


today, i wonder why i'm not already lesbian. it would all be so much simpler then. for some reason, i think tt being with a girl would be less frustrating. plus, if i was lesbian, then i'd at least have one explanation for why i covet girls so much. i look at some girls and i want to be like them and i want to have them (tsk, not bed them or wat lah. just... i duno, be close to them or something). i could probably just go out with a girl, but then tt's not the way i feel. at least i dont think so. i just want to be like them. knowing i can't makes me go green.

yesterday afternn, lepak'd for 3 hrs at sim with anaiz and andrew. i always thought anaiz was just a poser. but yesterday, i suddenly had respect for him, for the uninhibited way he asks questions. he's got humility, and i respect tt.
last night, me and julius were up till early this morn, talking cock online. then i read andrew's blog and then suddenly felt nauseous. then i had to go to sleep.