kiss me there cos i want you, cos you want to. and you want to. and you want to.

:: Undecided - last transmission


i cannot remember wat he said tt made my eyes sweat. but the blood rushed from my chest and a painful emptiness took its place. and it's bittersweet. i would have you know tt i don't like editing my thoughts. just cos i might have to do it doesn't mean i also have to like it.

yesterday was the first day since i got here tt i actually began to worry about us. maybe a bit of worrying in this aspect won't kill. i find it uncomfortable nevertheless.

for the past two nights i've been plagued by nightmares so frightfully (homo)sexual in nature tt i woke up feeling most apprehensive bout my sexuality. i've never thought i'd feel so uncomfortable and confused bout same-sex erm.. sex. BLURGH. i can't help but wonder if this had got anything to do with my lenten sacrifice to not being so dirty-minded. i guess it doesn't matter how fast or far you run; you can never really flee from yourself.



things to do tonight/tmr afternoon:

- LING1101 tut hmwk (due:wed)

- ANTH1101 read miner, shostak etc

- French french french revision (subjonctif)

- FREN2203 journal (due:mon)

- ASIA1101 readings, choose presentation topic/week.

- LAUNDRY!

- Pack clothes for sleepover at Aunty Lorna's (Sat)

- Buy something nice to bring to Aunty PuiLeng's (Sun)

- not go crazy.

- deal with my wavering esteem

- pray. pray. pray.